Women -- Social conditions -- 19th century -- Fiction
This hour! this fatal hour! How many can point to the shadow on the
dial, and say, "Then it was that I felt the whole weight of my humanity,
and knew myself to be the subject of an unvanquishable power!" This dark
moment had arrived for Lodore. He had spent his youth in passion, and
exhausted his better nature in a struggle for, and in the enjoyment of,
pleasure. He found disappointment, and desired change. It came at his
beck. He married. He was not satisfied; but still he felt that it was
because he did not rouse himself, that the bonds sate so heavily upon
him. He was enervated. He sickened at the idea of the struggle it would
require to cast off his fetters, and he preferred adapting his nature to
endure their weight. But he believed that it was only because he did not
raise his hand, nor determine on one true effort, that he was thus
enslaved. And now his hand was raised--the effort made; but no change
ensued; and he felt that there was no escape from the inextricable bonds
that fastened him to misery.
He had believed that he did right in introducing his wife to the
Countess Lyzinski. He felt that he could not neglect this lady; and such
was her rank, that any affectation of a separate acquaintance would
invite those observations which he deprecated. It was, after all, matter
of trivial import that he should be the person to bring them acquainted.
Moving in the same circles, they must meet--they might clash: it was
better that they should be on friendly terms. He did not foresee the
intimacy that ensued; and still less, that his own violent passions
would be called into action. That they were so, was, to the end, a
mystery even to himself. He no longer loved the Countess; and, in the
solitude of his chamber, he often felt his heart yearn towards the noble
youth, her son; but when they met--when Cornelia spent her blandest
smiles upon him, and when the exquisitely beautiful countenance of
Casimir became lighted up with gladness and gratitude, a fire of rage
was kindled in his heart, and he could no more command himself, than can
the soaring flames of a conflagration bend earthward. He felt ashamed;
but new fury sprung from this very sensation. For worlds, he would not
have his frenzy pried into by another; and yet he had no power to
controul its manifestation. His wife expostulated with him concerning
Casimir, and laughed his rebuke to scorn. But she did not read the
tumult of unutterable jealousy and hate, that slept within his breast,
like an earthquake beneath the soil, the day before a city falls.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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