Women -- Social conditions -- 19th century -- Fiction
And so farewell; for we will henceforth be
As we had never seen, ne'er more shall see.
HEYWOOD.
Lodore had passed many days upon the sea, on his voyage to America, before
he could in the least calm the bitter emotions to which Cornelia's violent
letter had given birth. He was on the wide Atlantic; the turbid ocean
swelled and roared around him, and heaven, the mansion of the winds,
showed on its horizon an extent of water only. He was cut off from
England, from Europe, for ever; and the vast continents he quitted
dwindled into a span; but still the images of those he left behind dwelt
in his soul, engrossing and filling it. They could no longer personally
taunt nor injure him; but the thought of them, of all that they might
say or do, haunted his mind; it was like an unreal strife of gigantic
shadows beneath dark night, which, when you approach, dwindles into thin
air, but which, contemplated at a distance, fills the hemisphere with
star-reaching heads, and steps that scale mountains. There was a
sleepless tumult in Lodore's heart; it was a waking dream of the most
painful description. Again and again Cornelia assailed him with
reproaches, and Lady Santerre poured out curses upon him; his fancy lent
them words and looks full of menace, hate, and violence. Sometimes the
sighing of the breeze in the shrouds assumed a tone that mocked their
voices; his sleep was disturbed by dreams more painful than his daylight
fancies; and the sense which they imparted of suffering and oppression,
was prolonged throughout the day.
He occasionally felt that he might become mad, and at such moments, the
presence of his child brought consolation and calm; her caresses, her
lisped expressions of affection, her playfulness, her smiles, were
spells to drive away the fantastic reveries that tortured him. He looked
upon her cherub face, and the world, late so full of wretchedness and
ill, assumed brighter hues; the storm was allayed, the dark clouds fled,
sunshine poured forth its beams; by degrees, tender and gentle
sensations crept over his heart; he forgot the angry contentions in
which, in imagination, he had been engaged, and he felt, that alone on
the sea, with this earthly angel of peace near him, he was divided from
every evil, to dwell with tranquillity and love.
To part with her had become impossible. She was all that rendered him
human--that plucked the thorn from his pillow, and poured one mitigating
drop into the bitter draught administered to him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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