London Lavender : $b An entertainmentLucas, E. V. (Edward Verrall)
General
London Lavender : $b An entertainment
Lucas, E. V. (Edward Verrall)
Humorous stories; London (England) -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
After much mild opposition on my part, we consented to join the
Farrars in a motor trip to Winfield. I did not want to go, for
several reasons. I like my hearth; I like my habits; I dislike
motor-cars; I dislike strange inn beds. I was not prepared for four
or five days' racing through this green England in company so limited
in imagination. But when I found that Farrar and his wife always sat
in front, I relented a little, for it would mean that Naomi and I had
the inside wholly to ourselves. I hazarded the stipulation that we
should make it a rule on desirable occasions to offer lifts on the
road; but Farrar asked me not to press it. It would not work, he
said. And I now agree with him, for, as a matter of fact, you can't
do things like that in a motor. Motors refuse to stop quickly
enough. There can be only one mind in a motor, and that is the
driver's, and the driver's is stunned or dulled by his office.
Hence, just as one always overshoots the prettiest cottages and
gardens and the most beautiful by-roads, so one has long passed the
unhappy footsore pedestrian before the impulse to pick him up can be
communicated to the man at the wheel; and of course in a motor there
is no going back.
As a matter of fact, we did chance to assist one man in this way, but
he came up to us when we were stopping for a sandwich on the
roadside. That is to say, he overtook us and caught us off our
guard: a tall lean man with a stubble on his chin and an air still
slightly rakish in spite of travel-stains and weariness. He asked
how far it was to Birmingham, and told us that he was an actor and
had heard of a travelling company with whom, before a long illness,
he had been associated, and he was walking to Birmingham hoping it
might find room for him.
Gwendolen came inside and the histrion (as I am sure he would love
best to be called) rode beside Farrar in silence. But when he said
good-bye he wrung my hand under the impression that I was the owner
of the car, and drew me aside to mention the fact that the loan of
half a crown for two days would be an incalculable boon. Poor
fellow, he looked so fragile and empty that I made the sum a good
deal larger, and pressed him not to be so hasty in returning it; and
he promised he would not.
"I could wish sometimes," he said brokenly, with his hat in his hand,
as we parted, "that the Great Prompter would ring down the curtain!"
"Hullo!" said Farrar, as I rejoined them, "been biting your ear, eh?
That's what always comes of this lift business. How much did he bite
it for?"
"Only half a crown," I said, and spent the next hour wondering why it
is that one is so terrified of letting a man of the world think one a
human being.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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