It is amusing to be able to help a little, but a mistake to congratulate oneself upon the feat. For two reasons, of which one is that one is only an instrument of fate or chance, and the other that most deeds which at first wear the guise of assistance have a way of turning into mischief. The Spaniards, whose proverbs are the best, say that he who would tell the truth should have one foot in the stirrup; and similarly I would advise most self-conscious benefactors of their neighbours to be all ready to run. For otherwise they are in danger of the wrong kind of thanks. In the present case, however, no harm has yet come to me. The victims of my experiment in busybodydom--or helpfulness, if you like--are not only Mr. Wiles and Mr. Duckie, but (such strange bedfellows can an active altruist bring together) Mr. Lacey. Mr. Duckie for the reasons given; Mr. Wiles also for the reasons given; and Mr. Lacey, because he had told me of his wonderful chop-house scheme. It was a simple duty to unite them; and we met at Mr. Wiles's for the purpose--the time and the place and the interested ones all together. The weight of the interview fell upon Mr. Lacey, but he enjoyed it. He had to convince Mr. Wiles that there was money in an eating-house at all; and Mr. Duckie, that to limit the food so severely was practicable; and both, that (as I had told them, but men are stubbornly sceptical in such matters) he was an enthusiast and not a company promoter. One can so easily be misunderstood on this point. He outlined his scheme, I must admit, with a persuasiveness that no company promoter could exceed, and a poor observer might easily have confused him with that _bête noire_; but neither of his hearers kindled perceptibly. Mr. Wiles has had so many affable gentlemen endeavouring, as Farrar's phrase has it, to bite his ear, that he has come to adopt an apathetic mien as second nature; while Mr. Duckie was obviously pained and startled by the revolutionary character of Mr. Lacey's proposal. "Hot chops, of course, gentlemen like," said Mr. Duckie, "but not for ever. Cold chops I've never heard of. That is to say, chops cold on purpose." Mr. Lacey admitted that it was an experiment. Possibly there might not be many customers who would come every day, but there ought to be enough regular customers for every other day, and plenty of strangers in a hurry, always. It would be, frankly, a house for hasty lunches. That would be stated. There should be no disguise about it; the outside would convey the intimation that within you could have a cold chop and salad in one minute, or a hot chop and hot buttered toast in ten minutes, and nothing else. "This world," said Mr. Lacey, "would be a vastly easier place if everyone announced his business in plain language. There's no diplomacy like frankness."