London Lavender : $b An entertainmentLucas, E. V. (Edward Verrall)
General
London Lavender : $b An entertainment
Lucas, E. V. (Edward Verrall)
Humorous stories; London (England) -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"'Certainly,' said Glenister. 'It was his fiver, and you were
keeping it for him, weren't you? You won't deny that?'
"'In a way I was,' I said.
"'O law!' groaned Bradley. 'What a hair-splitter!'
"'Very well, then,' said Glenister. 'You had Rice's five pounds and
you gambled with it--in itself a jolly unprincipled thing to do, as
it wasn't yours: poor devils are doing time all over the place for
much less; and now, when your flutter turns up trumps, you deny
him--who might have been your victim--the benefit! I call it
downright mean--squalid, in fact.'
"'You make it sound rotten,' I said, 'but there's a fallacy
somewhere. To begin with, as I said before, it isn't the butler's
own money till to-morrow. He hadn't earned it till the end of our
visit. If it wasn't his it is ours, and we could do as we liked with
it. We did, and the result is we have now enough to divide up into
sixteen pounds, thirteen shillings, and fourpence each, which I shall
be pleased to give you directly we get back, while Rice has his fiver
intact.'
"'Not for me,' said Glenister. 'I won five pounds with my own ten
bob, and that's all I make out of Blackadder. I can't take your
sixteen pounds odd, because it isn't mine. I may snore, as you agree
to allege, but I'm not a thief.'
"'O law!' Bradley groaned again. 'My dear Glenister, you're talking
like a Herbert Spencer sort of ass. All it means is that the Goat
and I will have to take twenty-five pounds each?'
"'No,' said Glenister, 'you can't do that; because a third, at any
rate, of the original fiver was mine, or, as I hold, the butler's,
and he must have what that share made. You and the Goat can take the
sixteen pounds odd each, but the butler must have my third and the
original fiver besides. But I don't envy you your explanation to
him.'
"'No,' I said after a while, 'either the butler must have all or
none. I can see that.'
"'Dash the whole stupid business!' exclaimed Bradley. 'Let him have
it all. We'll be generous.'
"'It belongs to him,' said Glenister. 'There's no generosity in the
matter. There's nothing but justice or injustice.'
"'Very well,' Bradley snapped out. 'I'm tired of it. Next time I go
to a race-meeting I'll take care it's not with a blooming Socrates.'
"'Then that's settled,' I said as cheerfully as I could. 'Rice has
the lot.'
"'The lot,' said Glenister. 'I'll admit it's enough, but there's no
other course.'
"We rode the rest of the way in disgust and silence, and then"--here
Sir Gaston began to laugh--"and then the rummest thing happened.
Regan's groom met us at the stable-yard and took the mare's head. He
seemed to be unusually excited, and I wondered if he had learned that
he too had backed a winner.
"'I'm afraid you'll find the house a bit upset,' he said to
Glenister, 'but the fact is, there's been a little trouble while you
were away. The butler's bolted. It seems he's been dishonest for a
long time, and to-day he thought the game was up and ran.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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