London's Heart: A NovelFarjeon, B. L. (Benjamin Leopold)
General
London's Heart: A Novel
Farjeon, B. L. (Benjamin Leopold)
London (England) -- Fiction
"You may have some of these things, Liz, if you like." His serious
manner made her more serious and attentive. "Such a house as you saw
just now you may have, perhaps. It depends upon you whether I accept
the offer that has been made to me to-night."
"Upon me!" she exclaimed.
"Do you remember what I was when you first came here?"
"Why, the same as you are now," she replied, with a laughing evasion
of what he was referring to.
"No, my dear," he said humbly, taking her hand in his; "I was a lonely
miserable man. There was no light in my life. I used to come home
night after night, and drink."
She placed her fingers on his lips, to stop the farther confession;
but he gently removed them.
"I had nothing else to do. Bad fancies used to come, and I drank to
drive them away; and the more I drank, the worse they became. I don't
know what might have been the end of me. This room used to be full of
terrible shadows creeping over the walls. I saw them in the dark,
stealing upon me. One night, when these fancies were upon me, driving
me almost mad--how long ago was it, Lizzie?--I heard a little voice
singing in the next room. I didn't know any one had moved in until I
heard your voice, and I crept into the passage and listened to you, my
dear, and blessed you--ay, I did Lizzie! and I fell asleep with your
singing in my ears."
"And I came out," she said, humouring him, "and saw you."
"And saw me, and pitied me," he continued. "I wonder you were not
afraid. You came into my room, and saw the bottle on the table; there
was liquor in it, and you asked me if you might take it away, and I
said Yes. Then you tidied up the room, and made the bed, and I sat
wondering at your goodness, and wondering why the shadows didn't come
while you were with me. That was the commencement of it, Lizzie; and
so we became friends, and my life was not so desolate as it used to.
You brightened it for me, by dear."
"No, it wasn't me, daddy; it was yourself--it was leaving off
that----that----"
"Drink," he added, as he hesitated. "It was driving me mad!"
"And you have left it off, daddy, and that's the reason why you are
better and happier."
"Yes, Lizzie," he said, with a guilty look at her, for the flat
bottle, half filled with gin, was in his pocket as he spoke. "I have
kept my promise."
"So it's not me, after all," she exclaimed merrily, "that you have to
thank."
"It is you, Lizzie. If it were not for you, I should go back to my old
ways again; it is only you who keep me from them. I know now what it
is to have some one to care for me; if I had known it before--O, if I
had known it before! If when we were young, we could see what was
before us!"
"Have you never had any one care for you, daddy?" she asked pityingly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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