London's Heart: A NovelFarjeon, B. L. (Benjamin Leopold)
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London's Heart: A Novel
Farjeon, B. L. (Benjamin Leopold)
London (England) -- Fiction
In their new relations towards each other she had seated herself at
his feet. Her hands were clasped in her lap, and her eyes were towards
the flowers in her breast. Graceful as the leaves of the flowers was
this young girl; not more delicate was their colour than the colour in
her face. The tender contact of this fresh young life was a new
revelation to him, and he held his breath for fear he should awake and
find that he was dreaming.
"Of my life!" she mused, speaking more to herself than to him. "What
can I remember? How young was I as I see myself, in my first
remembrance, playing with two other children in a field near the house
in which I lived? Two years, or a little more. The house belonged to
Mrs. Dimmock, and I did not know then that she was not my mother; but
as I grew I learned--I don't know how; it wasn't told me, but the
knowledge came--that the little girls I played with were not my
sisters, although they were her children. Mrs. Dimmock was not a very
kind woman, at least not to me. She would pet and fondle her own
children, and I used to cry in secret because of it, and because she
did not love me as she did them. My aunt came to see me often, and
often brought me toys and sweets. If she had been my mother she could
not have been kinder to me, but then of course I should have lived
with her. She saw that I fretted because it wasn't the same with me as
it was with the other children, and she tried in every way to make up
for it; but she couldn't. What I wanted was a mother that I could love
with all my heart, and who could love me with all hers--as Mrs.
Dimmock loved her children, although she was harsh and unkind to me.
My aunt did not know that she did not treat me well; I didn't tell
her. When I grew up, I went to a day-school, and learnt other things
besides reading and writing; I think it was in that way, trying to
make me superior to other girls, that my aunt endeavoured to lessen
any sorrow I may have felt. I can play the piano, daddy--you wouldn't
have thought that, would you! Mrs. Dimmock was jealous, I could see,
because I was learning more than her girls; and the girls, too, didn't
like it. I think it was partly maliciousness on my part that made me
proud to know more than they did; if they had been kind to me, I
shouldn't have cared to triumph over them in that way. Well,
everything went on so until I was fourteen years of age, when one
day something occurred. I hadn't been expected home so soon; the
street-door was open, and as I went into the passage I heard my aunt
and Mrs. Dimmock speaking together, and from my aunt's voice I guessed
that she was crying. 'I can't help your misfortunes,' Mrs. Dimmock
said; 'I've got children of my own, and I must look after them first.
I'm keeping the girl now for less than her food costs; she eats more
than my two girls put together.' I knew that she meant me by 'the
girl,' and I turned hot and cold, for I felt like a charity girl. Mrs.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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