"Anyhow, perhaps you're right up to a point; I might have asked about the
food, only I forgot."
She seemed very irritable that evening. Would it interest her to talk
about Flaten? A little apprehensively, I ventured:
"But you haven't told me whom Flaten is going to marry."
"She's not pretty at all," she replied suddenly. "What do you want to know
for? You don't know her."
"I suppose Flaten will be entering his father's firm now?" I persisted.
"Oh, damn Flaten! You seem to care about him a lot more than I do! Flaten,
Flaten, Flaten--how should I know if he's going to enter his father's
firm!"
"I only thought once he's married--"
"But she's got money, too. No, I don't think he's going into his father's
firm. He said once he wanted to edit a paper. Well, what's so funny about
that?"
"I'm not laughing."
"Yes, you were. Anyhow, Flaten wants to edit a paper. And since Lind
publishes a kennel journal, Flaten wants to publish a human journal, he
says."
"A human journal?"
"Yes. And you ought to subscribe to it," she added suddenly, almost
throwing the words into my face.
She was now in a state of excitement the cause of which I did not
understand, so I remained silent, merely replying, "Ought I? Yes, perhaps
I ought." Then she began to cry.
"Dear child, don't cry. I shan't torment you any more."
"You're not tormenting me."
"Yes, by talking nonsense; I don't seem to strike the right note."
"Yes, go on talking--that isn't it--I don't know--"
What could I say to her? But since there is, after all, nothing so
interesting as a question about oneself, I said:
"You're nervous about something, but it will pass. Perhaps--well, not at
once, of course--but perhaps it has hurt you that--well, that he's going
his own way now. But remember--"
"You're wrong," she said, shaking her head. "That doesn't really mean
anything to me; I was just slightly attracted to him."
"But you said he was the only one!"
"Oh--you know, you think that sort of thing sometimes. Of course I've been
in love with other people, too; I can't deny that. Flaten was very nice,
and took me out driving sometimes, or to a dance or something like that.
And of course I was proud of his paying attention to me in spite of my
having lost my post. I think I could have got a job in his father's shop
but--anyhow, I'm looking for a job now."
"Are you? I hope you'll find a good one."
"That's just the point. But I'm not getting any job at all. That is, I
shall in the end, of course, but--well, for instance, in old Flaten's
shop--I shouldn't fit in there."
"Not very good pay either, I expect?"
"I'm sure it's not. And then--I don't know; I feel I know too much for it.
That wretched academic training of mine does nothing but harm. Oh, well,
let's not talk any more about me. It must be late; I'd better go."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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