Looking Back: An AutobiographyRichardson, Merrick Abner
History
Looking Back: An Autobiography
Richardson, Merrick Abner
Richardson, Merrick Abner, 1841-
The storm is past--the scene ended. As stranded wrecks along the
shore, evidence of the awful night on the tempest tossed sea, so the
Galileans, with broken hearts, lie restless near old Zion's walls,
while the crucifixion of Jesus of Nazareth becomes simply a page of
record in the history of our strange world.
Magdalene lingers in the twilight at Joseph's tomb until the mother of
Jesus brings her away, and pleadingly tries to convince her that it may
be a part of God's wise plan to awaken the world and lead wanderers
home.
At last she seemingly becomes quiet, and as the mother smooths her
silken hair she feigns rest, in sleep, but when all is still she
silently steals away in the shadows to the Mount of Olives. At the top
she hesitates, shudders, scowls and then laughs hysterically, as she
draws her sleeping frock closer around her unprotected form.
Standing alone, her scant attire fluttering in the cold north breeze,
she suddenly awakens; with outstretched arms breaths softly, "Yes, I'll
come," then, bowing low, whispers, "I thought I heard him call," then,
strangely wild, proclaims, "No--no--I am not mad, I know he is dead,
he'll call me Mary nevermore."
Turning back, she shrugged her shoulders, seeming herself again, and
while gazing over the Jordan to the far away Moabite hills she murmurs,
"Somewhere in those vine-clad hills the childhood home of pretty Ruth
once lay, and here so near, on Bethlehem's plain, she gleaned and
gleaned until she won his heart; but now she is dead, they are all
dead. They come again no more.
"Oh, my soul, hast thou no home? Oh, evening star, beautiful heavenly
light, wilt thou find rest in the ocean waves, and Magdalene find none,
oh spangled heavens and God? Could I this night lay down to sleep in
the swelling bosom of the Mediterranean Sea never to awake, never to
remember more. Oh, that I could sleep forever in a starless night that
knows no morning."
One long, weird, wicked glance she casts at old Jerusalem and then
murmurs, "Was it but yester' night that I, before that monster, stood
and pleaded and pleaded in vain. Oh, see yon cross on Cavalry's
brow. I go--I go, my heart is cold; I die for him. He loves me
still--no--no--he loves me not, he is dead, he will love me never more.
Oh, soulless maid from Galilee, did you once think that men had souls?
Where is my dream of spirit homes, where tranquil souls are joined in
love, far away in Heaven's domain? I am not mad; I know he is dead;
there is no God; there is no home where spirits dwell."
Wandering down the steep, she waits a moment beneath the tree where she
had knelt and prayed that Jesus go with her to Galilee. Lingering a
moment in this sacred retreat, she sighs, with her hand on her heart,
and cries, "Oh, for just one tear to melt the frosty gloom on this cold
fount of life," but tears came not.
Leaping the stream, she ran hysterically up the rocky incline, then
pausing a moment at the gate beautiful she turned towards Calvary.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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