But Alistair was beginning to look deeper. The play he had just
witnessed, in spite of its absurdities, had embodied certain sentiments
of his own. “There is no cure,” he reflected as he walked along. “There
is no help for men like me; the crowd will always persecute us. They
have set up the image of the Crucified One that they might crucify
others in his name. The memory of Otway did not save Chatterton; the
sufferings of Chatterton did not redeem Poe. Their flattery of the
dead is only a deeper insult to the living. They kneel at the tomb of
Shakespeare, and if Shakespeare rose again they would cast him into
Reading Gaol.”
It was Alistair Stuart’s misfortune to be only a half-hearted sinner.
The world likes its men to be thorough-going. Confronted with a mixed
individuality it is disconcerted and annoyed, like a reviewer called
upon to judge a poem by a prose-writer, or a serious volume from a
humorist’s pen. Alistair’s natural instincts had been cowed by his
boyish experience. Without sharing the convictions of the righteous,
he lacked the courage to despise them utterly. He would have had them
pardon him, though he could not repent.
His embittered mood lasted till he came in sight of the river below
Battersea Park. The sunlight sparkling on the water, and the fresh
breeze blowing over the trees of the park, refreshed him for the
moment, and his thoughts turned to Hero Vanbrugh.
A sigh rose to his lips.
“If I had only met her a year ago!”
The rebuke which Hero had administered so delicately in the matter of
the royal autograph had moved him to the heart. It had been an appeal
to his self-respect, a proof that she credited him with honourable
instincts like her own, and at this crisis in his life the compliment
was like the touch of balm upon a sore. With such a hand as Hero’s
to restrain him, that plunge into the social underworld which he
was contemplating lost its fascination. How was it that in all the
years they had known him neither his mother nor his brother had ever
been able to strike the chord which this girl’s finger had touched
unerringly at their first meeting?
In searching for the answer to this riddle, he recollected whither his
steps were bound. The figure of Molly Finucane rose before him like a
faded portrait over which a breath of discoloration had passed, leaving
it tarnished and dingy, and he shivered slightly, and unconsciously
relaxed the quickness of his pace.
His heart sank within him as he ascended the familiar path, and let
himself in with his latchkey. Missing the expected figure of the page,
he hung up his hat himself, and passed into the drawing-room.
“Where’s Tom?” he inquired, not without some foreboding of the reply he
should receive.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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