‘Yes, and done it so often, that it leaves no remorse behind it.’
‘And the same, I suppose, with the others?’
‘With Mr. Walpole, and Dick, and Mr. O’Shea, and Mr. Atlee too, when he was
here, in their several ways.’
‘Oh, in theirs, not in mine, then?’
‘I am but a bungler in my explanation. I wished to say that you adapted
your fascinations to the tastes of each.’
‘What a siren!’
‘Well, yes--what a siren; for they’re all in love in some fashion or other;
but I could have forgiven you these, had you spared the married man.’
‘So you actually envy that poor prisoner the gleam of light and the breath
of cold air that comes between his prison bars--that one moment of ecstasy
that reminds him how he once was free and at large, and no manacles to
weigh him down? You will not let him even touch bliss in imagination? Are
_you_ not more cruel than _me_?’
‘This is mere nonsense,’ said Kate boldly. ‘You either believe that man was
fooling _you_, or that you have sent him away unhappy? Take which of these
you like.’
‘Can’t your rustic nature see that there is a third case, quite different
from both, and that Harry Curtis went off believing--’
‘Was he Harry Curtis?’ broke in Kate.
‘He was dear Harry when I said good-bye,’ said Nina calmly.
‘Oh, then, I give up everything--I throw up my brief.’
‘So you ought, for you have lost your cause long ago.’
‘Even that poor Donogan was not spared, and Heaven knows he had troubles
enough on his head to have pleaded some pity for him.’
‘And is there no kind word to say of _me_, Kate?’
‘O Nina, how ashamed you make me of my violence, when I dare to blame you!
but if I did not love you so dearly, I could better bear you should have a
fault.’
‘I have only one, then?’
‘I know of no great one but this. I mean, I know of none that endangers
good-nature and right feeling.’
‘And are you so sure that this does? Are you so sure that what you are
faulting is not the manner and the way of a world you have not seen? that
all these levities, as you would call them, are not the ordinary wear of
people whose lives are passed where there is more tolerance and less pain?’
‘Be serious, Nina, for a moment, and own that it was by intention you were
in the approach when Captain Curtis rode away: that you said something to
him, or looked something--perhaps both--on which he got down from his horse
and walked beside you for full a mile?’
‘All true,’ said Nina calmly. ‘I confess to every part of it.’
‘I’d far rather that you said you were sorry for it.’
‘But I am not; I’m very glad--I’m very proud of it.
Yes, look as reproachfully as you like, Kate! “very proud” was what I
said.’
‘Then I am indeed sorry,’ said Kate, growing pale as she spoke.
‘I don’t think, after all this sharp lecturing of me, that you deserve
much of my confidence, and if I make you any, Kate, it is not by way
of exculpation; for I do not accept your blame; it is simply out of
caprice--mind that, and that I am not thinking of defending myself.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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