Lord Ormont and His Aminta — CompleteMeredith, George
General
Lord Ormont and His Aminta — Complete
Meredith, George
English fiction -- 19th century
A seventh letter, signed 'Adolphus,' came by post, was read and locked
up in her jewel-box. They were all nigh destruction for a wavering
minute or so. They were placed where they lay because the first of them
had been laid there, the box being a strong one, under a patent key, and
discovery would mean the terrible. They had not been destroyed because
they had, or seemed to her to have, the language of passion. She could
read them unmoved, and appease a wicked craving she owned to having, and
reproached herself with having, for that language.
Was she not colour in the sight of men? Here was one, a mouthpiece of
numbers, who vowed that homage was her due, and devotion, the pouring
forth of the soul to her. What was the reproach if she read the stuff
unmoved?
But peruse and reperuse it, and ask impressions to tell our deepest
instinct of truthfulness whether language of this character can have
been written to two women by one hand! Men are cunning. Can they catch a
tone? Not that tone!
She, too, Mrs. Amy May, was colour in the sight of men. Yet it seemed
that he could not have written so to the Queen of Blondes. And she, by
repute, was as dangerous to slight as he to attract. Her indifference
exonerated him. Besides, a Queen of Blondes would not draw the hearts
out of men in England, as in Italy and in Spain. Aminta had got thus
far when she found 'Queen of Brunes' expunged by a mist: she imagined
hearing the secretary's laugh. She thought he was right to laugh at her.
She retorted simply: 'These are feelings that are poetry.'
A man may know nothing about them, and be an excellent schoolmaster.
Suggestions touching the prudence of taking Mrs. Lawrence into her
confidence, as regarded these troublesome letters of the man with the
dart in his breast, were shuffled aside for various reasons: her modesty
shrank; and a sense of honour toward the man forbade it. She would have
found it easier to do if she had conspired against her heart in doing
it. And yet, cold-bloodedly to expose him and pluck the clothing from a
passion--dear to think of only when it is profoundly secret--struck
her as an extreme baseness, of which not even the woman who perused and
reperused his letters could be guilty.
Her head rang with some of the lines, and she accused her head of the
crime of childishness, seeing that her heart was not an accomplice. At
the same time, her heart cried out violently against the business of
a visit to Lady de Culme, and all the steps it involved. Justly she
accused her heart of treason. Heart and head were severed. This, as
she partly apprehended, is the state of the woman who is already on the
slope of her nature's mine-shaft, dreading the rush downwards, powerless
to break away from the light.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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