Fantasy literature; Short stories; Supernatural -- Fiction
indispensable Prolegomena to any such work, or to any research tending
to its compilation.
In the absence of books, in the situation in which I found myself of
reticence, I could do nothing but brood upon the things I had seen.
Insensibly my imagination (latent while I had been occupied with
observation) began to work. I did not write, but I pictured, and my
waking dreams became so vivid that I was in a fair way to treat them
as the only reality, and might have discarded the workaday world
altogether. Luckily for me, my disposition was tractable and
law-abiding. I fulfilled by habit the duties of the day; I toiled at
my dreary work, ate and slept, wrote to my parents, visited them,
having got those tasks as it were by heart, but I went through the
rites like an automaton; my mind was elsewhere, intensely dogging the
heels of that winged steed, my fancy, panting in its tracks, and
perfectly content so only that it did not come up too late to witness
the glories which its bold flights discovered. Thanks to it--all
thanks to it--I did not become a nympholept. I did not haunt
Parliament Hill o' nights. I did not spy upon the darkling motions of
Mrs. Ventris. Desire, appetite, sex were not involved at all in this
affair; nor yet was love. I was very prone to love, but I did not love
Mrs. Ventris. In whatsoever fairy being I had seen there had been
nothing which held physical attraction for me. There could be no
allure when there was no lure. So far as I could tell, not one of
these creatures--except Quidnunc, and possibly the Dryad, the sun-dyed
nymph I had seen long ago in K---- Park--had been aware of my
presence. I guessed, though I did not know (as I do now) that
manifestation is not always mutual, but that a man may see a fairy
without being seen, and conversely, a fairy may be fully aware of
mankind or of some man or men without any suspicion of theirs.
Moreover, though I saw them all extraordinarily beautiful, I had never
yet seen one supremely desirable. The instinct to possess, which is an
essential part of the love-passion of every man--had never stirred in
me in the presence of these creatures. If it had I should have
yielded to it, I doubt not, since there was no moral law to hold me
back. But it never had, so far, and I was safe from the wasting misery
of seeking that which could not, from its very nature (and mine) be
sought.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account