Many birds came twittering round me in the gold of August; many trees
showed twinkling beauty, as the sun went lower; and the lines of water
fell, from wrinkles into dimples. Little heeding, there I crouched;
though with sense of everything that afterwards should move me, like a
picture or a dream; and everything went by me softly, while my heart was
gazing.
At last, a little figure came, not insignificant (I mean), but looking
very light and slender in the moving shadows, gently here and softly
there, as if vague of purpose, with a gloss of tender movement, in and
out the wealth of trees, and liberty of the meadow. Who was I to crouch,
or doubt, or look at her from a distance; what matter if they killed me
now, and one tear came to bury me? Therefore I rushed out at once, as if
shot-guns were unknown yet; not from any real courage, but from prisoned
love burst forth.
I know not whether my own Lorna was afraid of what I looked, or what I
might say to her, or of her own thoughts of me; all I know is that she
looked frightened, when I hoped for gladness. Perhaps the power of my
joy was more than maiden liked to own, or in any way to answer to; and
to tell the truth, it seemed as if I might now forget myself; while she
would take good care of it. This makes a man grow thoughtful; unless, as
some low fellows do, he believe all women hypocrites.
Therefore I went slowly towards her, taken back in my impulse; and said
all I could come to say, with some distress in doing it.
'Mistress Lorna, I had hope that you were in need of me.'
'Oh, yes; but that was long ago; two months ago, or more, sir.' And
saying this she looked away, as if it all were over. But I was now
so dazed and frightened, that it took my breath away, and I could not
answer, feeling sure that I was robbed and some one else had won her.
And I tried to turn away, without another word, and go.
But I could not help one stupid sob, though mad with myself for allowing
it, but it came too sharp for pride to stay it, and it told a world
of things. Lorna heard it, and ran to me, with her bright eyes full of
wonder, pity, and great kindness, as if amazed that I had more than a
simple liking for her. Then she held out both hands to me; and I took
and looked at them.
'Master Ridd, I did not mean,' she whispered, very softly, 'I did not
mean to vex you.'
'If you would be loath to vex me, none else in this world can do it,' I
answered out of my great love, but fearing yet to look at her, mine eyes
not being strong enough.
'Come away from this bright place,' she answered, trembling in her turn;
'I am watched and spied of late. Come beneath the shadows, John.'
I would have leaped into the valley of the shadow of death (as described
by the late John Bunyan), only to hear her call me 'John'; though
Apollyon were lurking there, and Despair should lock me in.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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