'For a gentleman, on a cue-ball horse, was coming slowly down the hill
on tother zide of watter, looking at us in a friendly way, and with a
long papper standing forth the lining of his coat laike. Horse stapped
to drink in the watter, and gentleman spak to 'un kindly, and then they
coom raight on to ussen, and the gentleman's face wor so long and so
grave, us veared 'a wor gooin' to prache to us.
'“Coort o' King's Bench,” saith one man; “Checker and Plays,” saith
another; “Spishal Commission, I doubt,” saith Bill Blacksmith; “backed
by the Mayor of Taunton.”
'“Any Justice of the King's Peace, good people, to be found near here?”
said the gentleman, lifting his hat to us, and very gracious in his
manner.
'“Your honour,” saith Bill, with his hat off his head; “there be sax or
zeven warships here: arl on 'em very wise 'uns. Squaire Maunder there be
the zinnyer.”
'So the gentleman rode up to Squire Maunder, and raised his cocked hat
in a manner that took the Squire out of countenance, for he could not do
the like of it.
'“Sir,” said he, “good and worshipful sir, I am here to claim your
good advice and valour; for purposes of justice. I hold His Majesty's
commission, to make to cease a notorious rogue, whose name is Thomas
Faggus.” With that he offered his commission; but Squire Maunder told
the truth, that he could not rade even words in print, much less written
karakters.* Then the other magistrates rode up, and put their heads
together, how to meet the London gentleman without loss of importance.
There wor one of 'em as could rade purty vair, and her made out King's
mark upon it: and he bowed upon his horse to the gentleman, and he laid
his hand on his heart and said, “Worshipful sir, we, as has the honour
of His Gracious Majesty's commission, are entirely at your service, and
crave instructions from you.”
* Lest I seem to under-rate the erudition of Devonshire
magistrates, I venture to offer copy of a letter from a
Justice of the Peace to his bookseller, circa 1810 A.D., now
in my possession:--
'Sur. 'plez to zen me the aks relatting to A-GUSTUS-PAKS,'
--Ed. of L. D.
'Then a waving of hats began, and a bowing, and making of legs to wan
anather, sich as nayver wor zeed afore; but none of 'em arl, for air and
brading, cud coom anaigh the gentleman with the long grave face.
'“Your warships have posted the men right well,” saith he with anather
bow all round; “surely that big rogue will have no chance left among so
many valiant musketeers. Ha! what see I there, my friend? Rust in the
pan of your gun! That gun would never go off, sure as I am the King's
Commissioner. And I see another just as bad; and lo, there the
third! Pardon me, gentlemen, I have been so used to His Majesty's
Ordnance-yards. But I fear that bold rogue would ride through all of
you, and laugh at your worship's beards, by George.”
'“But what shall us do?” Squire Maunder axed; “I vear there be no oil
here.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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