Lothair was relieved by hearing that his former guardian, Cardinal
Grandison, was daily expected at Rome; and he revolved in his mind
whether he should not speak to his eminence generally on the system of
his life, which he felt now required some modification. In the interval,
however, no change did occur. Lothair attended every day the services
of the church, and every evening the receptions of Lady St. Jerome;
and between the discharge of these two duties he took a drive with
a priest—sometimes with more than one, but always most agreeable
men—generally in the environs of the city, or visited a convent, or a
villa, some beautiful gardens, or a gallery of works of art.
It was at Lady St. Jerome’s that Lothair met his former guardian. The
cardinal had only arrived in the morning. His manner to Lothair was
affectionate. He retained Lothair’s hand and pressed it with his pale,
thin fingers; his attenuated countenance blazed for a moment with a
divine light.
“I have long wished to see you, sir,” said Lothair, “and much wish to
talk with you.”
“I can hear nothing from you nor of you but what must be most pleasing
to me,” said the cardinal.
“I wish I could believe that,” said Lothair.
The cardinal caressed him; put his arm round Lothair’s neck and said,
“There is no time like the present. Let us walk together in this
gallery,” and they withdrew naturally from the immediate scene.
“You know all that has happened, I dare say,” said Lothair with
embarrassment and with a sigh, “since we parted in England, sir.”
“All,” said the cardinal. “It has been a most striking and merciful
dispensation.”
“Then I need not dwell upon it,” said Lothair, “and naturally it would
be most painful. What I wish particularly to speak to you about is my
position under this roof. What I owe to those who dwell under it no
language can describe, and no efforts on my part, and they shall be
unceasing, can repay. But I think the time has come when I ought no
longer to trespass on their affectionate devotion, though, when I allude
to the topic, they seem to misinterpret the motives which influence me,
and to be pained rather than relieved by my suggestions. I cannot bear
being looked upon as ungrateful, when in fact I am devoted to them. I
think, sir, you might help me in putting all this right.”
“If it be necessary,” said the cardinal; “but I apprehend you
misconceive them. When I last left Rome you were very ill, but Lady St.
Jerome and others have written to me almost daily about you, during my
absence, so that I am familiar with all that has occurred, and quite
cognizant of their feelings. Rest assured that, toward yourself, they
are exactly what they ought to be and what you would desire.”
“Well, I am glad,” said Lothair, “that you are acquainted with every
thing that has happened, for you can put them right if it be necessary;
but I sometimes cannot help fancying that they are under some false
impression both as to my conduct and my convictions.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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