As soon as Louis saw Mademoiselle de Villenoix, he discerned the angel
within. The richest powers of his soul, and his tendency to ecstatic
reverie, every faculty within him was at once concentrated in boundless
love, the first love of a young man, a passion which is strong indeed in
all, but which in him was raised to incalculable power by the perennial
ardor of his senses, the character of his ideas, and the manner in which
he lived. This passion became a gulf, into which the hapless fellow
threw everything; a gulf whither the mind dare not venture, since his,
flexible and firm as it was, was lost there. There all was mysterious,
for everything went on in that moral world, closed to most men, whose
laws were revealed to him--perhaps to his sorrow.
When an accident threw me in the way of his uncle, the good man showed
me into the room which Lambert had at that time lived in. I wanted to
find some vestiges of his writings, if he should have left any. There
among his papers, untouched by the old man from that fine instinct of
grief that characterized the aged, I found a number of letters, too
illegible ever to have been sent to Mademoiselle de Villenoix. My
familiarity with Lambert's writing enabled me in time to decipher the
hieroglyphics of this shorthand, the result of impatience and a frenzy
of passion. Carried away by his feelings, he had written without being
conscious of the irregularity of words too slow to express his thoughts.
He must have been compelled to copy these chaotic attempts, for the
lines often ran into each other; but he was also afraid perhaps of not
having sufficiently disguised his feelings, and at first, at any rate,
he had probably written his love-letters twice over.
It required all the fervency of my devotion to his memory, and the sort
of fanaticism which comes of such a task, to enable me to divine
and restore the meaning of the five letters that here follow. These
documents, preserved by me with pious care, are the only material
evidence of his overmastering passion. Mademoiselle de Villenoix had no
doubt destroyed the real letters that she received, eloquent witnesses
to the delirium she inspired.
The first of these papers, evidently a rough sketch, betrays by its
style and by its length the many emendations, the heartfelt alarms,
the innumerable terrors caused by a desire to please; the changes of
expression and the hesitation between the whirl of ideas that beset a
man as he indites his first love-letter--a letter he never will forget,
each line the result of a reverie, each word the subject of long
cogitation, while the most unbridled passion known to man feels the
necessity of the most reserved utterance, and like a giant stooping to
enter a hovel, speaks humbly and low, so as not to alarm a girl's soul.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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