"The past is dead, the future is my own. I look back, dear
love, to the few moments we had by the great window in your
drawing-room, when my mother was talking to Alice over by
the fire. You were so gentle, so sweet, to me then. It was
as if--God forgive me for my presumption--you were
regretting my departure. Till that moment I had felt as if
the man who had once called you wife stood between us, an
angry, menacing shape. But he vanished then, in that house
of which he had never been the real master. And since that
day he has not haunted me as he haunted me during those long
long days of waiting for the news I at once longed for and
dreaded.
"When I come back I shall not ask you to love me, I shall
only humbly ask you to let me love you."
Laura went to her writing-table and turned on the light. She moved as
one walking in her sleep, for she was in an extraordinary state of
spiritual and mental exaltation. She drew a sheet of paper towards her,
and before burning the letter she still held in her hand, she copied
out, not all, but a certain part of what had been written there in that
invisible ink which only flashed into being when held up against a
flame.
Then she went back to the fire, and read the next letter--and the next.
In a sense they were alike--alike in the measureless love, the almost
anguished longing for her presence they expressed, and in their
abhorrence, hatred, contempt for the man who had been her husband. It
was as if Oliver, in spite of his confident words in the letter which
had been written on shipboard, could not forget Godfrey--as if
perpetually he felt the dead man's menacing presence to be there,
between them.
Laura was amazed, troubled, and yet at the same time profoundly stirred
and excited by Oliver's retrospective jealousy. It seemed to prove to
her as nothing else could have done how passionately, exclusively he
loved her, and had always loved her.
Though none of those about her were aware of it, the mistress of The
Chase became henceforth a different woman. It was as though she had
suddenly become alive where she had been dead, articulate instead of
dumb.
Each night, when the house was plunged in darkness and slumber, Laura
would light three candles, and read the words of longing and of love
which Oliver had written in between the formal lines of the last letter
she had received from him. And then, when a new letter came, she would
burn the one that had come before--the one whose contents she had
already long known by heart.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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