They were to start on the 8th of August, and it was now the 5th.
Packing had begun, and Crewdson, as usual, was troublesome. He had the
habit of appearing before Lucy and presenting some small deficiency as
a final cause of ruin and defeat. "I can't find any of the Brown
Polish, ma'am. I don't know what Mr. Macartney will do without it."
This, or something like it, had become a classic in the family. It had
always been part of the fun of going away. But this year Lucy was
fretted by it. She supposed herself run down and whipped herself to
work. She found herself, too, lingering about the house, with an
affection for the familiar aspect of corners, vistas, tricks of light
and shadow, which she had never thought to possess. She felt extremely
unwilling to leave it all. It was safety, it was friendliness; it
asked no effort of her. To turn away from its lustrous and ordered
elegance and face the unknown gave her a pain in the heart. It was
odd to feel homesick before she had left home; but that was the sum of
it. She was homesick. Urquhart was very much in her mind; a letter of
his was in her writing-table drawer, under lock and key; but Urquhart
seemed part of a vague menace now, while James, though he did his
unconscious utmost to defeat himself, got his share of the sunset glow
upon the house. Fanciful, nervous, weary of it all as she was, she
devoted herself to her duties; and then, on this fifth of August, in
the afternoon, she had a waking vision, perfectly distinct, and so
vivid that, disembodied and apart, she could see herself enacting it.
It was followed by a shivering fit and depression; but that must tell
its own tale.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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