"Run down," said James, looking keenly at her, but kindly; "end of the
season. Two days at sea will do the job for you. Anyhow, my dear, we
go." He threw himself in his deep chair, stretched his legs out and
looked at Lucy.
She was deeply disappointed; she had pictured it so differently. He
would have understood her, she had thought. But he seemed to be in his
worst mood. She stood, the picture of distressful uncertainty, hot and
wavering; her head hung, her hand moving a book about on the table. To
his surprise and great discomfort he now discerned that she was
silently crying. Tears were falling, she made no effort to stop them,
nor to conceal them. Her weakness and dismay were too much for her.
She accepted the relief, and neither knew nor cared whether he saw it.
James was not hard-hearted unless his vanity was hurt. This was the
way to touch him, as he was prepared to be touched. "My child," he
said, "why, what's the matter with you?" She shook her head, tried to
speak, failed, and went on crying.
"Lucy," said James, "come here to me." She obeyed him at once.
Something about her attitude moved him to something more than pity.
Her pretty frock and her refusal to be comforted by it; her youthful
act--for Lucy had never yet cried before him; her flushed cheeks, her
tremulous lips--what? If I could answer the question I should resolve
the problem of the flight of souls. He looked at her and knew that he
desired her above all things. A Lucy in tears was a new Lucy; a James
who could afford to let his want be seen was a new James. That which
stirred him--pity, need, desire, kindness--vibrated in his tones. To
hear was to obey.
He took her two hands and drew her down to his knee. He made her sit
there, embraced her with his arm. "There, my girl, there," he said;
"now let me know all about it. Upon my soul, you are a baffling young
woman. You will, and you won't; and then you cry, and I become
sentimental. I shall end by falling in love with you."
At these strange words she broke down altogether, and sobbed her soul
out upon his shoulder. Again he assured himself that he had never seen
her cry before. He was immensely touched by it, and immensely at his
ease too. His moral status was restored to him. He knew now what he
wanted. "You poor little darling, I can't bear to see you cry so.
There then--cry away, if it does you good. What does me good is to
have you here. Now what made you so meek as to come when I called you?
And why weren't you afraid that I should eat you up? So I might, Lucy,
you know; for you've made me madly in love with you."
It seemed to her beating heart that indeed he was. He held her very
close, kissed her wet cheeks, her wet eyes and her lips. She struggled
in his embrace, but not for long. She yielded, and returned his
kisses. So they clung together, and in the silence, while time seemed
to stand still, it really did nothing of the kind; for if he gained
experience she lost it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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