To this it is objected that, if every quarter of a town and every few
square miles of country had its “State nursery,” parents would often
be able to see to their children, as well as to take them home and
thus have an opportunity of using their influence. But apart from the
circumstance that the relationship would then in most cases resemble
that of the French _petite bourgeoisie_ visiting their children _en
nourrice_—that is to say, that affection would be shown in a desire
to amuse and deck out the child, to caress and play with it—the most
important point is forgotten. This is that time, more time, and still
more time, is one condition of education, and quiet the other. Souls
are not to be tended like maladies, in fixed hours of treatment.
There is no sphere—as parents are still too apt to forget—in which
the psychological moment is more important than in education. The
action which a mother has seen in the morning, should often be first
mentioned by the child’s bedside at night; the confidence which at the
right moment might have burst from the child’s lips, will never be
given if the father has not availed himself of that moment; the words
which pained the mother this week, must perhaps wait till next before
a natural opportunity of effectively combating them occurs. The caress
for which a little head feverishly longs this evening, will perhaps
to-morrow leave it indifferent. The word of affection which might have
been all-powerful at one moment, is powerless a couple of hours later.
And above all, direct advice or correction is worthless in comparison
with the unpremeditated words that parents let fall in the course of
the day, with the result that the child simply sees the full human life
of its parents.
Only living together on week-days and holidays deepens the immediate
influence of parents; only this makes it possible for the parents
to distinguish in the child the accidental from the essential, the
newly-acquired from the intrinsic in its changing moods.
And finally, when we think we have found that children receive too
much warmth at home, and that they ought rather to be hardened against
life—have we then not observed such “hardened” ones? Have we not seen
how they are beautified when they are admitted to a corner in a home;
have we not discovered that, though in intelligence they may be far in
advance of their time, their feelings are still on a level with those
of the savage?
So far from homes being too warm, they are seldom sufficiently
warmed by the only love that lasts for life, that of knowledge and
comprehension. Never yet was a human being too much loved, but only too
little, or not in the right way. The whole spirit of the age is now
opposed to the fatherly and motherly feelings of older times, which
were related to the blind affection of animal parents. The affection
that is left must be intensified, not weakened.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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