All valuable feelings—whether entertained for a person, a belief, a
place, or a country—are conservative. The consciousness of this gives
the preacher of liberty his boldness. He never perceives how liberty
may be abused, since he knows what it costs to loosen a heart from what
it has once embraced.
To a volatile nature, the happiness that a more steadfast one
experiences in love is as unfathomable as the bliss of the mystic
becoming absorbed into the fulness of his divinity is to the polytheist.
Here, as everywhere, to the believer in Life, happiness is one with
morality. Since happiness consists in the greatest emotions, its first
condition is to intensify and enlarge all feelings, and above all that
which leads to marriage.
But in addition, the whole standard of personality depends to a great
extent upon whether we consider fidelity a life-value. He who desires
fidelity centres his moods and his powers upon what is essential and
protects them from the gusts of the accidental. Only this gives style
and greatness to existence. The desire of fidelity is therefore one
with a person’s feeling for his own integrity, his inward consistency,
the attitude and dignity of his spiritual being.
When fidelity is preserved for these profound reasons, it will also be
broken only for the same reasons. A fidelity, on the other hand, which
rests upon conventional notions of duty, will be in the fire like a
fire-escape of straw.
It is moreover forgotten, in all discussions of the dangers of free
divorce, that under the influence of love the whole disposition of
the soul is towards fidelity. Great love absorbs all associations of
ideas and thus without conscious exertion intensifies and enlarges the
personality. Fidelity will be a necessary condition of love, but a
condition whose psychological continuance is not favoured by coercive
marriage.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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