In the preceding, the position of the children in divorce has been
considered from the point of view of discord between the parents. If,
on the other hand, the divorce is brought about by a new feeling on
the part of one of them, then this father or mother must be prepared
one day—when the children can understand them—to justify the step by
showing them how the new love has made him or her a richer and greater
personality. The children have a full right not to be sacrificed to the
degradation of their parents. In every case, the children are the most
incorruptible judges of their parents.
But the fact that a person has already brought children into the world
does not give to these children an unconditional right to demand that a
father or mother shall sacrifice the love that may advance themselves,
and through them the race, to which they may thus give more excellent
children or more excellent works than they have been able to produce
hitherto. Many a woman has borne children to her husband without having
seen her child; many a man has given the community his industry but
never his work—until great love accomplished their innermost longing
and the child or the work that was thus created became the only one
indispensable to the race.
The claim of society that a father or mother, radiant with
possibilities of happiness, shall sacrifice these for the sake of the
children, will be reduced when the sense of the value of life has
grown and the duty of parents to live for their children is more often
interpreted to mean that they must continue to be fully alive, with
powers of renewal. On the other hand, this very rejuvenation of parents
at the present day may often result in their living so rich a life
together with their children that they will need no other renewal than
that which is most productive of happiness to all parties; namely, to
enjoy their “second springtime” in the children’s first.
If, on the contrary, the result of this prolonged youth of the parents
is that a father or mother changes the course of his or her life, then
the children must suffer—until they can understand that perhaps in a
deeper sense they do not suffer thereby. Sometimes the new partner has
exercised a richer influence on the children than their own father or
mother—as may also be the case with a step-father or step-mother. At
present, however, this possibility is often destroyed by the common
opinion just alluded to, which also decides that the children ought to
hate, where, if left to themselves, they would perhaps have learned to
love.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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