The same applies to divorce on account of “hatred and ill-will.” Before
a court which cannot test the reasons that have most spiritual weight,
but only the evidence that has most to say, all the details of married
life have to be dragged forth, all its wounds inspected. The evidence
which, as a rule, is decisive is that of servants! The profoundest
spiritual concerns of educated people are thus made to depend upon the
opinion of uneducated persons on all the complicated circumstances of
an unhappy marriage. And not only this: the result in most cases is
determined by the indelicacy with which the husband and wife have drawn
their servants and their acquaintances into the conflict. If husband
or wife has summoned the servants to witness violent behaviour, then
that party is in a much better position in an action for divorce than
the one who has sought to the utmost to preserve the dignity of their
marriage. There are, moreover, some sufferings of which no proof can be
produced. Such, for instance, is misuse of “conjugal rights”; another
is the power of either party, under forms of outward politeness, to
make life entirely worthless to the other; a third, the constant
opposition of two conflicting views of life.
It is only in the case of the grossest and most palpable evils that
it is now possible to furnish the necessary evidence without such
difficulties as—both in the granting of divorce and in the disposal of
the children—may give rise to the grossest injustice. And all this is
only a part of the humiliations and sufferings which now—especially
for the wife—attend a divorce. Finally, an action for divorce is
sufficiently expensive to render it on this account alone a matter
of great difficulty for many people in poor circumstances to obtain
justice.
Such a system of divorce—which makes either partner dependent on the
worst qualities of the other; which calls forth all that is indelicate
in the nature of both; which drags their weaknesses and sufferings
before the eyes of strangers, and which, nevertheless, provides no real
protection for the children—such a system ought to give no thoughtful
person peace until its degrading and deteriorating influence is
abolished and a new system, which shall protect both personal dignity
and the children, introduced.
In looking back upon the preceding, it would seem to result clearly
that nothing that has been said here contemplates the establishment of
a single form—recognised as the only moral one—for sexual life. But
since only the fixity possessed by the law is capable of transforming
in a profound and permanent manner the feelings and customs of the
majority, there is need, for the present, of a new law to support the
growth of the higher feelings which will finally render any marriage
law unnecessary.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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