London (England) -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
'Sans doute. You know that he adores you. But, Edith, it's all very
well--you put like that--but could you go through with it?'
'I believe I could now,' she answered. 'I begin to long to. You see, I
mistook my own feelings, Landi; they seemed dulled. I thought I could
live without love--but why should I? What is it that's made me change
so? Why do I feel so frightened now at the idea of losing my happiness?'
'C'est la guerre,' said Sir Tito.
'The war? What has that to do with it?'
'Everything. Unconsciously it affects people. Though you yourself are
not fighting, Aylmer has risked his life, and is going to risk it again.
This impresses you. To many temperaments things seem to matter less just
now. People are reckless.'
'Is it that?' asked Edith. 'Perhaps it is. But I was so completely
deceived in myself.'
'I always knew you could be in love with him,' said Landi. 'But wait a
moment, Edith--need the remedy be so violent? I don't ask you to live
without love. Why should a woman live without the very thing she was
created for? But you know you hate publicity--vulgar scandal. Nobody
loathes it as you do.'
'It doesn't seem to matter now so much,' Edith said.
'It's the war.'
'Well, whatever's the cause, all I can tell you is that I'm beginning to
think I shall do it! I want to!... I can't bear to refuse again. I
haven't seen him since our talk. I changed gradually, alone, just
thinking. And then you say--'
'Many people have love in their lives without a violent public scandal,'
he repeated.
'Yes, I know. I understand what you mean. But I hate deceit, Landi. I
don't think I could lead a double life. And even if I would, he
wouldn't!'
She spoke rather proudly.
'Pauvre garcon!' said Sir Tito. 'Je l'admire.'
'So do I,' said Edith. 'Aylmer's not a man who could shake hands with
Bruce and be friends and deceive him. And you know, before, when I
begged him to remain ... my friend ... he simply wouldn't. He always
said he despised the man who would accept the part of a tame cat. And he
doesn't believe in Platonic friendship: Aylmer's too honest, too _real_
for that.'
'But, Edith, oh, remember, before,' said Landi taking her hand, 'even
when Bruce ran away with another woman, you couldn't bear the idea
of divorce.'
'I know. But I may have been wrong. Besides, I didn't care for him as I
do now. And I'm older now.'
'Isn't this rather sudden, my dear?'
'Only because I've let myself go--let myself be natural! Oh, _do_
encourage me--give me strength, Landi! Don't let me be a coward! Think
if Aylmer goes out again and is killed, how miserable I should feel to
have refused him and disappointed him--for the second time!'
'Wait a moment, Edith. Suppose, as you say, he goes out again and is
killed, and you _haven't_ disappointed him, what would your position
be then?'
She couldn't answer.
'How is it your conscientiousness with regard to Bruce doesn't come in
the way now? Why would it ruin him less now than formerly?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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