And this was no mere fine emotion; there was no room for imagination in
it--the reality exceeded all imagination. Overwhelming it was, furious,
relentless; his thoughts strove to roam, but it seized him by the hair
and dragged him back. Here--_here!_
She was wrung and shaken with her agony, her eyes shut, her face
uplifted, her muscles turned to stone. And the minutes dragged out into
hours--there was no end to it--there was no end to it! There was no
meaning--it was only naked, staring terror. It beat him up again and
again; he would sink back exhausted, thinking that he could feel no
more; but it dragged him up once more--to agony without respite! The
caverns of horror were rent open; they split before his eyes--deeper,
deeper--in vistas and abysses from which he shrunk appalled. Here dwelt
the furies, despair and madness--here dwelt the demon-forces of being,
grisly phantoms which come not into the light of day. Their hands
were upon him, their claws were in his flesh; and over their chasms he
shuddered--he scented the smoke of that seething pit of life, whose top
the centuries have sealed, and into which no mortal thing may gaze and
live.
Life--life--here was life, he felt. What had he known of it before
this?--the rest was pageantry and sham. Beauty, pleasure, love--here
they were in the making of them--here they were in the real truth of
them! Raw, naked, hideous it was; and it was the source of all
things else! His being rose in one titan throb of rebellion. It was
monstrous--it was unthinkable! He wanted no such life--he had no right
to it! Let there be an end of it! No life that ever was could be worth
such a price as this! It was a cheat, a horror--there could be no
justice in such a thing! There could be no God in it--it was oppression,
it was wrong! He thought of the millions that swarmed on the earth--they
had all come from this! And it was happening every hour--every second!
He saw it, the whole of it--the age-long agony, the universal birth-pang
of being. And he hated it, hated it with a wild, raging hatred--he would
have annihilated it with one sweep of his arm.
And yet--there was no way to annihilate it! It was here--it was
inevitable. And it was everlasting--it was an everlasting delusion, an
everlasting madness. It was a Snare!
Yes, he came back to the thought--that was the image for it! It mattered
not how much you might cry out, you were in it, and it held you! It held
you as it held Corydon, in throb after throb of torment. She moaned, she
choked, she tossed from side to side; but it held her. It seemed to
him that the storm of her agony beat upon her like the tempest upon a
mountain pine-tree.
Section 10. The doctor’s hands were red with blood now, like a
butcher’s. He bent over his work, his lips set. Now and then he would
speak to the young nurse, whom he was teaching; and his words would
break the spell of Thyrsis’ nightmare.
“You can see the head now,” he said once, turning to the boy.
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