"Don't tell me about it!" A cry, this.
"You used to care for me, Jerry. I'm not expecting that now; but if
you'd only believe me when I say I'm sorry----"
"I believe you, Elizabeth."
"One of the nurses here says----Jerry, won't you look at me?" With
some difficulty he met her eyes. "She says that because one starts
wrong one needn't go wrong always. I was ashamed to write. She made
me do it."
She held out an appealing hand, but he did not take it. All his life
he had built up a house of morality. Now his house was crumbling and
he stood terrified in the wreck. "It isn't only because I've been
hurt that I--am sorry," she went on. "I loathed it! I'd have
finished it all long ago, only--I was afraid."
"I would rather have found you dead!"
There is a sort of anesthesia of misery. After a certain amount of
suffering the brain ceases to feel. Jerry watched the white curtain
of the screen swaying in the wind, settled his collar, glanced at
his watch. He was quite white. The girl's hand still lay on the
coverlet. Somewhere back in the numbed brain that would think only
little thoughts he knew that if he touched that small, appealing
hand the last wall of his house would fall.
It was the Dummy, after all, who settled that for him. He came with
his afternoon offering of cracked ice just then and stood inside the
screen, staring. Perhaps he had known all along how it would end,
that this, his saint, would go--and not alone--to join the vanishing
circle that had ringed the inner circle of his heart. Just at the
time it rather got him. He swayed a little and clutched at the
screen; but the next moment he had placed the bowl on the stand and
stood smiling down at the girl.
"The only person in the world who believes in me!" said the girl
bitterly. "And he's a fool!"
The Dummy smiled into her eyes. In his faded, childish eyes there
was the eternal sadness of his kind, eternal tenderness, and the
blur of one who has looked much into a far distance. Suddenly he
bent over and placed the man's hand over the girl's.
The last wall was down! Jerry buried his face in the white
coverlet.
* * * * *
The _interne_ was pacing the roof anxiously. Golden sunset had faded
to lavender--to dark purple--to night.
The Probationer came up at last--not a probationer now, of course;
but she had left off her cap and was much less stately.
"I'm sorry," she explained; "but I've been terribly busy. It went
off so well!"
"Of course--if you handled it."
"You know--don't you?--it was the lover who came. He looks so strong
and good--oh, she is safe now!"
"That's fine!" said the _interne_ absently. They were sitting on the
parapet now and by sliding his hand along he found her fingers.
"Isn't it a glorious evening?" He had the fingers pretty close by
that time; and suddenly gathering them up he lifted the hand to his
lips.
"Such a kind little hand!" he said over it. "Such a dear, tender
little hand! My hand!" he said, rather huskily.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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