United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction
"Why, good God, girl, do you realize what you are saying?" he exclaimed,
all self-control gone. "Why, we are ready now; Bradshaw just arrived and
every arrangement has been made for our journey. It cannot be
postponed."
"Oh, yes, indeed, it can," and she rose, facing him. "Surely you would
not force me against my will, Captain Le Gaire? I do not desire to
rebel, to absolutely refuse, but I hope you will listen to me, and then
act the part of a gentleman. I presume you desire me for your wife, not
your slave."
I thought he had lost his voice he was so long in answering; then the
tones were hoarse, indistinct.
"Listen! Yes! I want you to explain; only don't expect too much from
me."
She looked directly at him, her cheeks flushing to the insolence of his
accent.
"I am hardly likely to err in that way any more," rather coldly, "but I
do owe you an explanation. I have done wrong to permit this affair to go
so far without protest, but I did not comprehend my own feelings clearly
until to-night. I merely drifted without realizing the danger, and now
the shock of discovery leaves me almost helpless. I realize distinctly
only one thing--I can not, I will not, marry you.
"Do these words seem cruel, unjust?" she went on, strangely calm.
"Perhaps they are, yet it is surely better for me to speak them now than
to wreck both our lives by remaining silent longer. You came to me a
year ago, Captain Le Gaire, at a time when I was particularly lonely,
and susceptible to kindness. You were an officer in the army, fighting
for a cause I loved, and your friendly attentions were very welcome. My
father liked you, and we were constantly thrown together. I have lived
rather a secluded life, here on this plantation since my school days,
meeting few men of my own station, and still young enough to be
romantic. I thought I loved you, and perhaps the feeling I cherished
might have truly become love had you always remained the same
considerate gentleman I first believed you to be. Instead, little by
little, I have been driven away, hurt by your coarseness, your lack of
chivalry, until now, when it comes to the supreme test, I find my soul
in revolt. Am I altogether to blame?"
I do not think he comprehended, grasped the truth she sought to convey,
for he broke forth angrily:
"Very pretty, indeed! And do you think I will ever stand for it? Why, I
should be the laughing stock of the army, a butt for every brainless
joker in the camp. I am not such a fool, my girl." He stepped forward,
grasping her hands, and holding them in spite of her slight effort to
break away. "I am a frank-spoken man, yes, but I have never failed to
treat you with respect."
"You may call it that, but you have repeatedly sworn in my presence,
have ordered me harshly about, have even arranged this affair without
first consulting me. If this be your manner before marriage, what brand
of brutality could I expect after?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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