The greater part of that day he spent in writing to Marion. It was all
he could do, and he did it thoroughly; entering without reserve into all
his hopes and plans, only passing by, rather more slightly, the probable
opposition, his marriage might meet with from his mother, and inferring
that any mischief to be apprehended on this score was already done by
his having, months before, refused to marry as she wished. He impressed
upon Marion that he was far from rich, that indeed for many years to
come their life might be a struggling one, and told her the object and
success of his visit to London.
He begged her to reply at once, and to confide to him the “imaginary”
(he called it) obstacle on her side, the remembrance of which had so
distressed her. That it was imaginary only, he told her he felt assured,
for nothing not affecting her personally would he allow to come between
them. Whatever it was, he begged her to tell it to him. Lastly, he
entreated her to send him word where and when he might see her. At any
moment, he wrote, he would hold himself in readiness to set off for
England, to see her in her own home, or wherever else she might appoint.
One possibility only he did not allude to, for as yet it had not
seriously occurred to him, that of her perhaps having determined on
accompanying Mrs. Archer to India. Later, he wondered at its not having
struck him.
So he wrote his letter, and enclosed it to the care of Mrs. George
Archer, to be by her forwarded, or delivered immediately. And having
posted it with his own hand, he felt rather lighter of heart than had
been the case with him since his grievous disappointment of the morning.
He tried to reason himself out of his excessive depression. “After all,”
thought he, “it is nothing to be so miserable about. It is merely a
question of a week or two’s delay. And now I can console myself by
counting the days till her answer can come.” But it was not much use.
From the first moment that he had heard her departure carelessly alluded
to, he had somehow lost hope, felt an irresistible conviction that she
was altogether and for ever gone from him. “It was very childish,” he
said to himself, “childish and unreasonable.” But he could not help it.
Still he did not allow his depression to paralyse or weaken his efforts
to obviate the harm, too likely, in one form or another, to have been
caused by Marion’s sudden and unlooked-for departure.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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