THIS was the letter the little boy gave to the young lady in the arbour,
and which without moving from her seat she opened and read. It was
addressed outside correctly enough to “Mrs. Baldwin.” It was the first
letter she had ever received from Ralph! She read it slowly, though it
was short enough, dwelling on each phrase, each word, with the sort
of hungry eagerness with which we strain our ears to catch each last
precious whisper from loved lips which we know shall soon, very soon, be
silent for ever.
“Marion,” it began, “my dearest, for I may call you that in the only
letter I shall ever write to you. I said just now it was as if one of us
were dying—will you try to receive what I am going to say to you as if
indeed it were a dying man’s request? It may seem cruel and heartless
to ask it just now, but it is my last chance; and afterwards, though you
may reject it just now, my earnest entreaty may come back to your mind.
What I would ask of you, my poor child, is to try to be happy. For the
sake of the love you have had for me, for the sake of the love you well
know I have for you, let me leave you trusting that some day you may
again be at least as happy, as you were today when I so rudely destroyed
the poor little fabric you had begun to build up.
You are so young, my child, so young and sweet-natured, and your husband
you tell me is good and kind. I have seen him, and I believe he is so.
Happiness cannot but to some extent return to you, if only you do not
repel it by dwelling on the past or by undeserved self-reproach. Let
me trust you will not do this; let me urge on you with more earnestness
than I know how to put in words not to refuse or shut out from you the
sunshine which will still come into your life. To know that you are
happy is the one remaining great wish of my life.
For me it is very different. I am not young and I have been accustomed
to live alone. You are the only being I ever took into my life; and I
must now return to the old loneliness, only a little drearier and darker
than before, for having known one short blessed glimpse of light.
God bless you, my dearest, and lighten to you the terrible trial it has
been my bitter fate to bring upon you. Leave me the hope that some day
you may be able to think of me without suffering. Forget all about me
except that you had never a truer friend, or one who would more gladly
sacrifice himself to ensure your well-being, than
“RALPH SEVERN.”
She read it slowly and quietly. No one observing her would have guessed
from the expression of her face that its contents were of more than
ordinary interest. In point of fact she hardly as yet understood it.
She was still stunned and bewildered: otherwise it is probable that
her first sensation on reading Ralph’s letter would have been of
indignation, bitter anger at him for daring to speak to her of such
a mockery as “happiness,” for thinking it possible that a human being
could bear such torture as hers and live.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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