'No, Miss Ross, I will not tell him so; I will not consent to see him
slowly tortured. If he tells us we must go, I will not say a dissenting
word. What is my own comfort compared to his? I have had a hard life,
God knows! and now it will be harder still.'
'But you have other children to consider,' remonstrated Audrey faintly.
'If you leave here, Mollie and Kester will be sacrificed. Surely, you
have put this before him.'
'No, indeed, I have not; he has always been my first consideration. Of
course, I know how bad it will be for the poor children; but if it comes
to that--to choose between them and Cyril----' And a strange, passionate
look came into her eyes.
'Hush, hush! I do not like to hear you talk so,' replied Audrey. 'It is
wrong; no mother ought to make such a difference. You are not yourself,
or you would not say such things. It is all this trouble.'
'Perhaps you are right,' she returned drearily. 'I think it has half
crazed me to know we must go away. Oh, if you knew what my life has
been, and what a haven of rest this has seemed!' She looked round the
room, and a sort of spasm crossed her face. 'It is all so sweet and
homelike, and he has loved it so; and now to begin all afresh, and to go
amongst strangers--and then the loss----' She stopped as though
something seemed to choke her.
Audrey felt as though she could hear no more. 'It is all my fault,' she
burst out; 'how you must hate me!' But Mrs. Blake shook her head with a
sad smile.
'I don't seem to have the power of hating you,' she said, so gently that
Audrey's lip quivered. 'How can I hate what my boy loves?' and then she
paused and looked at Audrey, as though the sight of her suppressed
emotion stirred some dim hope within her: 'If I thought it would help
him, I would kneel at your feet like a beggar and pray you to have
compassion upon him; but I know what such pity would be worth--do you
think Cyril would accept any woman's pity?'
'No, no,' and then Audrey rose and put out her hands in a beseeching
way. 'Will you let me go? Indeed, indeed, I can bear no more----'
'Yes, you shall go,' returned Mrs. Blake in a stifled tone. 'I have not
been generous, I have spared you nothing, and yet it is not your fault.
You have not played with my boy's heart; you never tried to win his
heart. Cyril said so himself.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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