Humorous stories; London (England) -- Fiction; Lucia (Fictitious character) -- Fiction; Women -- England -- Fiction
“No, does she really?” said Tony. “But after all, I call her Lucia when
she’s not there. The bell’s gone, by the way: the curtain will be up.”
Adele hurried in.
“Come to my box, Tony,” she said, “after the first act. I haven’t been
so interested in anything for years.”
Adele paid no attention whatever to the gloomy play of Tchekov’s. Her
whole mind was concentrated on Lucia, and soon she leaned across to
Aggie, and whispered:
“I believe it was Pepino who rang her up.”
Aggie knitted her brows for a moment.
“Couldn’t have been,” she said. “He rang her up directly afterward.”
Adele’s face fell. Not being able to think as far ahead as Lucia she
didn’t see the answer to that, and relapsed into Lucian meditation, till
the moment the curtain fell, when Tony Limpsfield slid into their box.
“I don’t know what the play has been about,” he said, “but I must tell
you why she was at Marcia’s last night. Some women chucked Marcia during
the afternoon and made her thirteen----”
“Marcia would like that,” said Aggie.
Tony took no notice of this silly joke.
“So she rang up everybody in town----” he continued.
“Except me,” said Aggie bitterly.
“Oh, never mind that,” said Tony. “She rang up everybody, and couldn’t
get hold of anyone. Then she rang up Lucia.”
“Who instantly said she was disengaged, and rang me up to go to the
theatre with Pepino,” said Aggie. “I suspected something of the sort,
but I wanted to see the play, and I wasn’t going to cut off my nose to
spite Lucia’s face.”
“Besides, she would have got someone else, or sent Pepino to the play
alone,” said Tony. “And you’ve got hold of the wrong end of the stick,
Aggie. Nobody wants to spite Lucia. We all want her to have the most
glorious time.”
“Aggie’s vexed because she thinks she invented Lucia,” observed Adele.
“That’s the wrong attitude altogether. Tell me about Pep.”
“Simply nothing to say about him,” said Tony. “He has trousers and a
hat, and a telescope on the roof at Riseholme, and when you talk to him
you see he remembers what the leading articles in the _Times_ said that
morning. Don’t introduce irrelevant matters, Adele.”
“But husbands are relevant--all but mine,” said Adele. “Part of the
picture. And what about Stephen?”
“Oh, you always see him handing buns at tea-parties. He’s irrelevant
too.”
“He might not be if her husband is,” said Adele.
Tony exploded with laughter.
“You are off the track,” he said. “You’ll get nowhere if you attempt to
smirch Lucia’s character. How could she have time for a lover to begin
with? And you misunderstand her altogether, if you think that.”
“It would be frightfully picturesque,” said Adele.
“No, it would spoil it altogether.... Oh, there’s this stupid play
beginning again.... Gracious heavens, look there!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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