Humorous stories; London (England) -- Fiction; Lucia (Fictitious character) -- Fiction; Women -- England -- Fiction
He knew he had no taste for gallantry, and he felt morally certain that
Lucia hadn’t either.... What then could she mean by those little tweaks
and pressures? Conning them over for the second time, it struck him more
forcibly than before that she had only indulged in these little
licentiousnesses when there was someone else present. Little as he knew
of the ways of lovers, he always imagined that they exchanged such
tokens chiefly in private, and in public only when their passions had to
find a small safety-valve. Again, if she had had designs on his virtue,
she would surely, having got him alone, have given a message to her
servants that she was out and not have had Lord Limpsfield admitted....
He felt sure she was up to something, but to his dull male sense, it was
at present wrapped in mystery. He did not want to give up all those
charming hospitalities of hers, but he must needs be very circumspect.
It was, however, without much misgiving that he awaited her next morning
at the doors of the little Rutland Gallery, for he felt safe in so
public a place as a private view. Only a few early visitors had come in
when Lucia arrived, and as she passed the turnstile showing the two
cards of invitation for herself and Pepino, impersonated by Stephen, she
asked for hers back, saying that she was only going to make a short
visit now and would return later. She had not yet seen the caricature of
herself and Pepino, for which Bertie Alton (she still stuck to this
little mistake) had accepted a commission, and she made her way at once
to Numbers 39 and 40, which her catalogue told her were of Mr. and Mrs.
Philip Lucas. Subjoined to their names were the captions, and she read
with excitement that Pepino was supposed to be saying “At whatever
personal inconvenience I must live up to Lucia” while below Number 40
was the enticing little legend “Oh, these duchesses! They give one no
peace!” ... And there was Pepino, in the knee-breeches of levee dress,
tripping over his sword which had got entangled with his legs, and a
cocked-hat on the back of his head, with his eyes very much apart, and
no nose, and a small agonized hole in his face for a mouth.... And there
was she with a pile of opened letters on the floor, and a pile of
unopened letters on the table. There was not much of her face to be
seen, for she was talking into a telephone, but her skirt was very
short, and so was her hair, and there was a wealth of weary resignation
in the limpness of her carriage.
Lucia examined them both carefully, and then gave a long sigh of perfect
happiness. That was her irrepressible comment: she could not have
imagined anything more ideal. Then she gave a little peal of laughter.
“Look, Stephen,” she said. “Bobbie--I mean Bertie--really is too wicked
for anything--Really, outrageous! I am furious with him, and yet I can’t
help laughing. Poor Pepino, and poor me! Marcia will adore it. She
always says she can never get hold of me nowadays.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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