Humorous stories; London (England) -- Fiction; Lucia (Fictitious character) -- Fiction; Women -- England -- Fiction
“I saw her announcement in the _Morning Post_,” said the infuriated
Marcia, “that she had gone for a few days’ complete rest into the
country, and naturally I thought I was safe. I was determined she
shouldn’t come to my ball, and when I saw that, I thought she couldn’t.
So out of sheer good nature I sent her a card, so that she could tell
everybody she had been asked. Never did I dream that there was a
possibility of her coming. Instead of which, she made the most
conspicuous entry that she could have made. I believe she timed it: I
believe she waited on the stairs till she saw we were going down to
supper.”
“I wonder!” said Adele. “Genius, if it was that. She curtseyed seven
times, too. I can’t do that without loud cracks from my aged knees.”
“And she stopped till the very end,” said Marcia. “She was positively
the last to go. I shall never do a kind thing again.”
“You’re horrid about her,” said Adele. “Besides, what has she done? You
asked her and she came. You don’t rave at your guests for coming when
they’re asked. You wouldn’t like it if none of them came.”
“That’s different,” said Marcia. “I shouldn’t wonder if she announced
she was ordered complete rest in order that I should fall into her
trap.”
Adele sighed, but shook her head.
“Oh, my dear, that _would_ have been magnificent,” she said. “But I’m
afraid I can’t hope to believe that. I daresay she went into the country
because you hadn’t asked her, and that was pretty good. But the other:
no. However, we’ll ask Tony what he thinks.”
“What’s Tony got to do with it?” said Marcia.
“Why, he’s even more wrapped up in her than I am,” said Adele. “He
thinks of nothing else.”
Marcia was silent a moment. Then a sort of softer gleam came into her
angry eye.
“Tell me some more about her,” she said.
Adele clapped her hands.
“Ah, that’s splendid,” she said. “You’re beginning to feel kinder. What
we would do without our Lucia I can’t imagine. I don’t know what there
would be to talk about.”
“She’s ridiculous!” said Marcia relapsing a little.
“No, you mustn’t feel that,” said Adele. “You mustn’t laugh at her ever.
You must just richly enjoy her.”
“She’s a snob!” said Marcia, as if this was a tremendous discovery.
“So am I: so are you: so are we all,” said Adele. “We all run after
distinguished people like--like Alf and Marcelle. The difference between
you and Lucia is entirely in her favour, for you pretend you’re not a
snob, and she is perfectly frank and open about it. Besides, what is a
duchess like you for except to give pleasure to snobs? That’s your work
in the world, darling; that’s why you were sent here. Don’t shirk it, or
when you’re old you will suffer agonies of remorse. And you’re a snob
too. You like having seven--or was it seventy?--Royals at your dance.”
“Well, tell me some more about Lucia,” said Marcia, rather struck by
this ingenious presentation of the case.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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