Humorous stories; London (England) -- Fiction; Lucia (Fictitious character) -- Fiction; Women -- England -- Fiction
“If an ordinary good-looking woman,” she said, “tells me that she hasn’t
got a lover or a man who wants to be her lover, I always say ‘You lie!’
So she does. You shall begin, Lucia, about your lovers.”
Nothing could have been more unfortunate. Adele could have hurled the
entire six rows of the Whitby pearls at Aggie’s face. Lucia had no
lover, but only the wraith of a lover, on whom direct light must never
be flashed. Such a little reflection should have shown Aggie that. The
effect of her carelessness was that Lucia became visibly embarrassed,
looked at the clock, and got up in a violent hurry.
“Good gracious me!” she said. “What a time of night! Who could have
thought that our little chat had lasted so long? Yes, dear Adele, I know
my room, on the left with my name on the door. Don’t dream of coming to
show it me.”
* * * * *
Lucia distributed little pressures and kisses and clingings, and holding
her very smart pale blue wrapper close about her, slid noiselessly out
in her slippers into the corridor. It was late, the house was quite
quiet, for a quarter of an hour they had heard the creaking of men’s
footsteps going to their rooms. The main lights had been put out, only
here and there down the long silent aisle there burned a single small
illumination. Past half a dozen doors Lucia tiptoed, until she came to
one on which she could just see the name Philip Lucas preceded by a dim
hieroglyph which of course was “Mrs.” She turned the handle and went in.
Two yards in front of her, by the side of the bed, was standing Stephen,
voluptuous in honey-coloured pyjamas. For one awful second--for she felt
sure this was her room (_and so did he_)--they stared at each other in
dead silence.
“How dare you?” said Stephen, so agitated that he could scarcely form
the syllables.
“And how dare _you_?” hissed Lucia. “Go out of my room instantly.”
“Get out of mine!” said Stephen.
Lucia’s indignant eye left his horror-stricken face and swept round the
room. There was no Chinese paper on the wall, but a pretty Morris paper:
there was no Charles II bed with tapestry, but a brass-testered couch;
there was no Chippendale wardrobe, but something useful from Tottenham
Court Road. She gave one little squeal, of a pitch between the music of
the slate-pencil and of the bat, and closed his door again. She
staggered on to the next room where again the legend “Philip Lucas” was
legible, popped in, and locked the door. She hurried to the door of
communication between this and the fatal chamber next it, and as she
locked that also she heard from the other side of it the bolt violently
pulled forward.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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