‘It is all my fault--all!’ he said to Sprats, with bitter self-reproach.
‘I never took care of her as I should have done, as I had vowed to do.
You were right, Sprats, in everything that you said to me. I wonder what
it is that makes me so blind to things that other people see so clearly?
I ought not to have let the poor child be exposed to the temptations of
that arch-devil; but I trusted him implicitly. He always made the most
sincere professions of his friendship for both of us. Then again, how is
it, why is it, that people so constantly deceive me? I believe every man
as I expect every man to believe me. Do you think I ever dreamt of all
this, ever dreamt of what was in that scoundrel’s mind? Yet I ought to
have foreseen--I ought to have been guided by you. It is all my fault,
all my fault!’
It was useless to argue with him or to condole with him. He had
persuaded himself without an effort that such and such things were, and
the only thing to be done with him was to acquiesce in his conclusions
and help him as judiciously as possible. The two faithful friends who
had hurried to his side remained with him until the troubled waters grew
calm again. That was now an affair of time. Haidee was certainly
insane, and the physicians held out little hope of her recovery. By
their advice she was removed to a private institution within easy
distance of Paris, and Lucian announced his intention of settling down
in the gay city in order to be near her. He talked of her now as if she
had been a girl-bride, snatched away from him by ruthless fate, and it
was plain to see that he had obliterated the angry thoughts that had
filled him during his frenzy of resentment, and now cherished nothing
but feelings of chastened and tender regret. For Haidee, indeed,
frailest of frail mortals, became apotheosised into something very
different. Lucian, who never did anything by halves and could not avoid
extremes, exalted her into a sort of much-wronged saint; she became his
dream, and nobody had the heart to wake him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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