Lucifer: A Theosophical Magazine. Volume I. September 1887-February 1888.Various
Religion
Lucifer: A Theosophical Magazine. Volume I. September 1887-February 1888.
Various
Theosophy -- Periodicals
something which I cognize within myself as quite independent from
Space, time and causality.
That which remains to do now is to study _self_. But how do I
cognize life in myself?
This is how I cognize it. I know, to begin with, that I live; and
that I live wishing for myself everything that is good, wishing this
since I can remember myself, to this day, and from morn till night.
All that lives outside of myself is important in my eyes, but only
in so far as it co-operates with the creation of that which is
productive of _my_ welfare. The Universe is important in my sight
only because it can give _me_, pleasure.
Meanwhile, something else is bound up with this knowledge in me of
my existence. Inseparable from the life I feel, is another cognition
allied to it; namely, that besides myself, I am surrounded with a
whole world of living creatures, possessed, as I am myself, of the
same instinctive realization of their exclusive lives; that all
these creatures live for their own objects, which objects are
foreign to me; that those creatures do not know, nor do they care to
know, anything of my pretensions to an exclusive life, and that all
these creatures, in order to achieve success in their objects, are
ready to annihilate me at any moment. But this is not all. While
watching the destruction of creatures similar in all to myself, I
also know that for me too, for that precious ME in whom alone life
is represented, a very speedy and inevitable destruction is lying in
wait.
It is as if there were two “I’s” in man; it is as if they could
never live in peace together; it is as if they were eternally
struggling, and ever trying to expel each other.
One “I” says, “I alone am living as one should live, all the rest
only seems to live. Therefore, the whole _raison d’être_ for the
universe is in that _I_ may be made comfortable.”
The other “I” replies, “The universe is not for thee at all, but for
its own aims and purposes, and it cares little to know whether thou
art happy or unhappy.”
Life becomes a dreadful thing after this!
One “I” says, “I only want the gratification of all my wants and
desires, and that is why I need the universe.”
The other “I” replies, “All animal life lives only for the
gratification of its wants and desires. It is the wants and desires
of animals alone that are gratified at the expense and detriment of
other animals; hence the ceaseless struggle between the animal
species. Thou art an animal, and therefore thou hast to struggle.
Yet, however successful in thy struggle, the rest of the struggling
creatures must sooner or later crush thee.”
Still worse! life becomes still more dreadful....
But the most terrible of all, that which includes in itself the
whole of the foregoing, is that:—
One “I” says, “I want to live, to live for ever.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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