Lucius Davoren; or, Publicans and sinners, vol. 3Braddon, M. E. (Mary Elizabeth)
General
Lucius Davoren; or, Publicans and sinners, vol. 3
Braddon, M. E. (Mary Elizabeth)
Domestic fiction; Psychological fiction
The old man sighed at the thought that he had outlived the possibility
of hope. He was too old to look forward, except beyond the grave; and
his eyes, so keen for the business of this world, were yet too dull
to pierce the mists that veil Death’s fatal river, and reach the shore
that lies upon the other side. What hold had he now upon the things of
this earth—toil and profit, and the strong wine of success? He, who
had once been whole owner of the good ship Life, was now reduced to a
sixty-fourth share in that gallant vessel. What recked it to him where
she drifted or against what rock she perished, now his interest in her
was so small? To think of the future—that earthly future which alone
presented itself to his too mundane mind—was to think of a time in
which he must cease to be. He could not easily transfer his hopes to
those who were to succeed him; those who might perchance reap the fruit
of his unwearying toil. He thought of all the miles—the stony London
miles—that he had walked in pursuit of his trade—often with tired
feet. He thought of that stern system of deprivation he had imposed on
himself, till he had schooled his appetite to habitual self-denial,
brought the demon sense into subjection so complete that it was as if
he had been created without the longings of other men. How many a time
had he passed through the savoury steam of some popular dining-place,
while hunger gnawed his entrails! On how many a bitter day he had
refused himself the modest portion of strong drink which might have
comforted him after his weary wanderings! He had denied himself all
the things that other men deem necessities—had denied himself with
money in his pockets—and had amassed his collection. To-day he was
unusually disposed to gloomy thought, and began even to doubt whether
the collection was worth the life of deprivation it had cost him. He
had been gradually recovering health and strength for some time, but
with convalescence came a curiously depressed state of mind. He was not
strong enough to go about his business—to potter about as of old amidst
the chaos of his various treasures, to resume the compilation of an
elaborate descriptive catalogue, at which he had been slowly working
since his removal to Cedar House. Nor could he think of reinspecting
his miscellaneous possessions without a pang, lest, in doing so, he
should find even greater loss than he was now aware of. So, powerless
to seek consolation from a return to business and activity, he sat by
his fireside in the gloomy October weather, and brooded over the past.
Lucille tended him as of old, with the same unvarying patience and
affection.
‘It is such a happiness to see you looking so much better, dear
grandfather,’ she said, as she stood beside him while he ate his
noontide mutton-chop, a simple fare which seemed particularly savoury
after that diet of broths and jellies to which he had been kept so long.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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