“I must be very ill, then, if irritability be the measure. Do you
know”--and here she spoke with immense rapidity, and with a jarring
vibration in her voice--“do you know that there are times, mere moments,
in which it needs all my self-control not to scream aloud? Yes, I feel
as though I would give life itself to cry out--to fling this weary load
off my poor heart, and tell all--all!”
“You must be calm, young lady, or I shall think I have done amiss in
permitting this interview.”
“Don’t call me young lady. The other, that man I dislike, called me
young lady. You must call me Kate.” He only smiled, and she took his
hand in her own burning hand, and said, in a coaxing, caressing tone,
“Say Kate--Kate!”
“I am very proud that you let me call you Kate.”
“Yes, that’s it; and you say it softly, as it should be spoken. It’s a
pretty name, is it not? No, don’t look on me pitifully. If it be even as
you fear, there is no cause for sorrow. Answer me one thing,” said she,
half sternly, “but answer truly. Shall I die of this? There, there! I
do not want any more. You think I shall; but I know better. Ay, Doctor,
there’s a keener instinct, stronger than all your skill, and it tell’s
me I have years and years before me; years of such trouble, too, it
would be a mercy I were taken now!”
“Calm yourself, my child. I like your self-confidence; but be calm.”
“And am I not calm? Count my pulse;” and she bared her arm and held it
towards him. “It _is_ a pretty arm? then say so, frankly. What harm can
flattery do me now?”
“I must leave you, my dear child. I have a long journey before me, and
much hard work at the end of it. I am sorry, very sorry to go. Don’t
shake your head, Kate, it is the simple truth.”
“Then why not stay?”
“I have told you, child, that many others are expecting me.”
“Yes, great people, titled people, people of condition, as they are
called; as if we, too, had not our condition. Don’t you hate that word?
Don’t you hate every vulgar sneer at the low-born?”
“I like your generosity----”
“My generosity!” cried she, with a wild hysteric laugh--“my generosity!
Oh, yes; my generosity has a touch of genius in it. It reveals to me the
unseen, the untasted! For, what can I know of such people?”
Her brows were knitted fast as she uttered the last words, and her lips
were drawn tight, as though she spoke under the pressure of some intense
constraint.
“There, there!” said he, rising. “I knew all this talking was injurious,
and I am much to blame for having permitted it.”
“And you _are_ going?”
“I must; I have no choice in the matter.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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