“Your repentance may come as early as you please, it shall avail you
nothing. It may be even now; I almost thought I heard his foot on the
stair; and I know not whether I would not rather it came now, or after
months of heart-suffering and sorrow. I was slighted--he weighed the
beauty that he admired, and the love he thought he had gained, against
the mockeries of some score of people whose very faces he has
forgotten, and ‘Qu’en dira le Monde’ had more power over him than all my
tenderness, all my wit, and all my beauty.
“Is it not strange that, with all his boasted keenness to read people’s
natures, he should know so little of mine? To think that I could stand
there and see the struggle between his pride of station and what he
would call ‘his passion’--that I could tamely wait and see how I was
weighed in the balance and found wanting--that I could bear all this
unmoved, and then return to my daily life, without an attempt to resent
it?
“It is true, till this letter came from my uncle, there was no pressure
upon him. None in the wide world was more friendless than myself. His
life might have gone on as heretofore, and if a thought of me or of my
fate invaded, he might have dismissed it with the excuse that he could
mention me in his will; he could have bequeathed me enough to make me a
desirable match for the land-steward or the gardener!
“How I bless my Uncle Luttrell for his remembrance of me! It is like a
reprieve arriving when the victim was on the scaffold. He shall see with
what gladness I accept his offer. If the conditions had been ten times
as hard, I would not quarrel with one of them. Now, then, to answer
him, and that done, Sir Within, you run no danger of that scandal-loving
world you dread so much! For if you came with the offer of all your
fortune to my feet, I’d spurn you!”
She opened her writing-desk, and sat down before it. She then took out
Luttrell’s letter, and read it carefully over. I must take care that
my answer be as calm and as unimpassioned as his own note. He makes
no protestation of affection--neither shall I. He says nothing of any
pleasure that he anticipates from my companionship--I will be as guarded
as himself.” She paused for a moment or two, and then wrote:
“My dear Uncle,--Though your letter found me weak and low, after a
severe illness, its purport has given me strength to answer you at once.
I accept.
“It would be agreeable to me if I could close this letter with these
words, and not impose any further thought of myself upon you; but it is
better, perhaps, if I tell you now and for ever that you may discharge
your mind of all fears as to what you call the sacrifices I shall have
to make. I hope to show you that all the indulgences in which I have
lived make no part of my real nature. You have one boon to confer on me
worth all that wealth and splendour could offer--your name. By making me
a Luttrell, you fill the full measure of my ambition.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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