She muttered but one word, but that it was enough seemed clear, as his
companion said, “I declare I think you deserved it!”
“It has begun already,” said she to herself, as she walked slowly along
towards the town. “The bitter conflict with the world, of which I have
only heard hitherto, I now must face. By this time he knows it; he knows
that he is desolate, and that he shall never see me more. All the misery
is not, therefore, mine; nor is mine the greater. I have youth, and can
hope; he cannot hope; he can but grieve on to the last. Well, let him go
to that world he loves so dearly, and ask it to console him. It will say
by its thousand tongues, ‘You have done well, Sir Within. Why should you
have allied yourself with a low-born peasant-girl? How could her beauty
have reconciled you to her want of refinement, her ignorance, her coarse
breeding?’ Ah, what an answer could his heart give, if he but dared to
utter it; for he could tell them I was their equal in all their vaunted
captivations! Will he have the courage to do this? Or, will he seek
comfort in the falsehood that belies me?”
In thoughts like these, ever revolving around herself and her altered
fortunes, she journeyed on, and by the third day arrived at Holyhead.
The rendezvous was given at a small inn outside the town called “The
Kid,” and directions for her reception had been already forwarded there.
Two days elapsed before her uncle’s messenger arrived--two days that
seemed to extend to as many years! How did her ever-active mind go over
in that space all her past life, from the cruel sorrows of her early
days, to the pampered existence she had led at Dalradern? She fancied
what she might have been, if she had never left her lowly station, but
grown up amongst the hardships and privations of her humble condition.
She canvassed in her mind the way in which she might have either
conformed to that life, or struggled against it. “I cannot believe,”
said she, with a saucy laugh, as she stood and looked at herself in the
glass, “that these arms were meant to carry sea-wrack, or that these
feet were fashioned to clamber shoeless up the rocks! And yet, if
destiny had fixed me there, how should I have escaped? I cannot tell,
any more than I can tell what is yet before me! And what a fascination
there is in this uncertainty! What a wondrous influence has the unknown!
How eventful does the slightest action become, when it may lead to that
which can determine a life’s fortune! Even now, how much is in my power!
I might go back, throw myself at that old man’s feet, and tell him that
it was in vain I tried it--I could not leave him. I might kneel there
till he raised me, and when he did so, I should be his wife, a titled
lady, and mistress of that grand old castle! Could I do this? No: no
more than I could go and beg the Vyners to have pity on me and take me
back; that my heart clung to the happiness I had learned to feel amongst
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