The old man prattled on, setting out the position in the most favorable
light to Joan that seemed possible to him. But his listener was one no
longer. She had forgotten her cousin and the present circumstances, for her
thoughts were with a sailor at sea. One tremendous moment of savage joy
gripped her heart, but the primitive passion perished in its birth-pang and
left her cold and faint and ashamed. She wondered from what unknown,
unsecured corner of her soul the vile thing came. It died on the instant,
but the corpse fouled her thoughts and tainted them and made her feel faint
again. The irony of chance burst like a storm on the woman, and mazes of
tangled thoughts made her brain whirl in a chaos of bewilderment. She sat
motionless, her face dark, and much mystery in her wonderful eyes, while
Mr. Chirgwin, with shaking head and scriptural quotation and tears, babbled
on, pleading for Joan with all his strength. Mary heard little of what he
said. She was occupied with facts and asking herself her duty. From the
storm in her mind arose a clear question at last, and she could not answer
it. The point had appeared unimportant to anybody but Mary Chirgwin, but no
question of conduct ever looked trivial to her. At least the doubt was
definite and afforded mental occupation. She wondered now whether it was
well or possible that she and Joan could live together under the same roof.
Why such a problem had arisen she knew not; but it stood in the path, a
fact to be dealt with. Her heart told her that Joan and her uncle alike
erred in the supposition that the girl's seducer would ever return. She
read the great gift of money as Thomasin had read it--rightly; and the
thought of living with Joan was at first horrible to her.
Mr. Chirgwin talked and Mary reflected. Then she rose to leave the room.
"'Tis tu gert a thing for me to say--no wummon was ever plaaced like what I
be now. I do mean to see passon at Sancreed, uncle. He'll knaw what's right
for me. If he bids me stay, I'll stay. 'Tis the thot o' Joe Noy maddens me.
My head'll burst if I think any more. I'll go to passon."
"Whether you'll stay, Polly! Why shouldn't 'e stay? Surely it do--"
"Doan't 'e talk no more 'tall, uncle. You caan't knaw what this is to me,
you doan't understan' a wummon faaced wi' a coil like this here. Joe--Joe
as loved 'er, I s'pose, differ'nt to what 'e did me. An' she, when his back
weer turned--an'--an'--me--God help me!--as never could do less than love
en through all!"
She was gone before he had time to answer, but he realized her mighty agony
of mind and stood dumb and frightened before it. Then a thought came
concerning Joan and he felt that, at all costs, he must speak to Mary again
before she went out. Mr. Chirgwin waited quietly at the stair-foot until
she came down. The turmoil was in her eyes still, but she spoke calmly and
listened to him when he replied.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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