Uncle Chirgwin promised that he would do so, and Mrs. Tregenza felt a
weight off her mind which had distressed it for some while. She was
thinking of Tom, of course. She knew that Joan loved him, and though the
prospect of his ever coming by a penny of the money appeared slender, yet
to think that he might be in a will, named for hundreds of pounds, was a
shadowy sort of joy to her.
That night Joan's uncle told the girl of his afternoon's work, and she
expressed some sorrow that he should have thus exerted himself on her
behalf.
"Faither's dirt beside the likes of you," she said. "'Twas wastin' good
time to talk to en, an' I wouldn't go back to Newlyn, you mind, if he was
to ax me 'pon his knees. I'm a poor fool of a gal, but I knaws enough to
laugh at the ignorance o' faither an' that fiddle-faaced crowd to the Luke
Gospel Chapel."
"Doan't 'e be bitter, Joan. Us all makes mistakes an' bad's the best o'
human creatures. Your faither will chaange, sure as I'm a livin' man, some
day. God ban't gwaine to let en gaw down to's graave wi' sich a 'mazin'
number o' wrong opinions. Else think o' the wakin' t'other side! Iss, it
caan't be. Why, as 'tis, if he went dead sudden, he'd gaw marchin' into
heaven as bold as brass, an' bang up to the right hand o' the thrawne!
Theer's a situation for a body! An' the awk'ardness o' havin' to step
forrard an' tell en! No, no, the man'll be humbled sure 'fore his journey's
end. Theer's Everlasting eyes 'pon en, think as you may."
"I never think at all about him," declared Joan, "an' I ban't gwaine to. He
won't chaange, an' I never wants en to. I've got you to love me, an' to
love; an' I'm--I'm waitin' for wan as be gawld to faither's dross."
She sighed as she spoke.
"Waitin' for en still?"
"Ay, for Mister Jan. It caan't be no gert length o' time now. I s'pose days
go quicker up Lunnon town than wi' us."
"Joan, my dovey, 'tis idle. Even I sees it now. I did think wi' you fust as
he was a true man. I caan't no more. I wish I could."
A month before Joan would have flashed into anger at such a speech as this,
but now she did not answer. Young love is fertile in imagination. She had
found a thousand glories in John Barren, and, when he left her, had woven a
thousand explanations for his delayed return. Now invention grew dull;
enthusiasm waned; her confidence was shaken, though she denied the fact
even to herself as a sort of treachery. But there is no standing still in
time. The remorseless fact of his non-return extended over weeks and
months.
Mr. Chirgwin saw her silence, noted the little quiver of her mouth as he
declared his own loss of faith, stroked the hand she thrust dumbly into his
and felt her silence hurt his heart.
Presently Joan spoke.
"I've got none to b'lieve in en no more then--not wan now, not even you.
Whiles you stuck up for en I felt braave 'bout his comin'; now--now Mister
Jan have awnly got me to say a word for en. An' you doan't think he'm a
true man no more then, uncle?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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