[Here the man elaborated his opinions. They were like himself: a medley--a
farrago--wherein ascerbity, acuteness, and a mind naturally philosophic
were stranded in the arid deserts of a pessimism bred partly from his own
decaying physical circumstances and partly from recognition of his own
wasted time.]
"I do not suppose that I shall paint any more. I had my Cornish picture
brought from its packing-case and framed, and supported on a great easel at
the foot of my bed while I was stricken down last month. Mistress Joan eyed
me curiously from under her hand, and through the night-watches, while my
man snored in the next chamber and I tossed with great unrest, the girl
seemed to live and move and smile at me under the flicker of the night
lamp. Everybody is pleased to say that 'Joe's Ship' seems good to them. I
have it now in the studio, and contrasted it yesterday with my bathing
negresses from Tobago. I think I like it better. It is difficult to read
the soul in black faces, especially when the models are freezing to death
as mine were. But there is something near to soul in this painted
Joan--more I doubt than the living reality would be found to possess
to-day. She was a good girl all the same, and I am gratified to hear she
did not quite forget me. I have written to her at the address you mention.
They pester me to send the picture somewhere, and to stop their
importunities--especially the women--I have promised to let the thing go to
the Institute in the autumn. I shall doubtless change my mind before the
time comes.
"My life slowly but surely dwindles to that mere battle with Death which
your consumptive wages at the finish. I fancy Biskra will see my bones
later in the year. The R.A. took not less than six months off my waning
days this spring. Thank God they hung Brady as he deserved. Twenty good
works I saw--'the rest is silence.'
"Yours, while I remain,
"JOHN BARRON."
It was true that the artist had written another letter addressed to Joan
Tregenza at Drift. He had written it first--written it hurriedly, wildly,
on the spur of the moment. But, after the completion of his communication
to Murdoch, the mood of the man changed. He had coldly read again the
former epistle, and altered his mind concerning it. Barron wanted Joan back
again sometimes, if life dragged more than usual; but pens and paper
generally modified his desire when he got that far toward calling her to
him. Her memory tickled him pleasantly and whiled away time. He framed the
various sketches he had made of her and suffered thought to occupy itself
with her as with no other woman who had entered his life. But the day on
which he wrote to Murdoch was a good one with him. He felt stronger and
better able to suck pleasure out of living than he had for a month.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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