But as Joan came out upon the sward through the furzes her heart sank in
sight of loneliness. She was not early to-day, but she had come earlier
than "Mister Jan." The gray figure was invisible. There were the marks on
the turf where his easel and camp-stool stood; there was the spot his feet
were wont to press, and her own standing-point against the glimmering
gorse; but that was all. She knew of no reason for his delay. The weather
was splendid, the day was warm, and he had never been so late before within
her recollection. Joan, much wondering, sat down to wait with her eyes upon
the sea, her ears alert for the first footstep, and her mind listening
also. Time passed, and indefinite uneasiness grew into a fear; then that
expanded and multiplied as her mind approached the problem of "Mister
Jan's" non-appearance from a dozen different standpoints. Hope declared
some private concern had kept him and he would not be long in coming; fear
inquired what unforeseen incident was likely to have risen since
yesterday--asked the question and answered it a dozen ways. The girl
waited, walked here and there, scanned the footpath and the road, returned,
sat down in patience, ate a cake she had brought, and so whiled the long
minutes away. The fears grew as hour and half-hour passed--fears for him,
not herself. The crowning despair did not touch her mind till later, and
her first sorrow was a simple terror that harm had fallen upon the man. He
had told her that he valued life but little, that at best no great length
of days awaited him; and now she thought that wandering about the cliffs by
night he might have met the death he did not fear. Then she remembered he
was but a sick man always, with frail breathing parts; and her thoughts
turned to the shed, and she pictured him lying ill there, unable to
communicate with friends, perhaps waiting and praying long hours for her
footfall as she had been waiting and praying for his. Upon this most
plausible possibility striking Joan, her heart beat at her breast and her
cheeks grew white. She rose from her seat upon the cliff, turned her face
to the cow-byre and made a few quick steps in that direction. Then a vague
flutter of sense, as of warning where no danger is visible, slowed her
speed for a moment; but her heart was strung to action, and the strange new
voice did not sound like Nature's, so she put it aside and let it drown
into silence before the clamor of fear for "Mister Jan's" well-being.
Indeed, that dim premonitory whisper excited a moment's anger in the girl
that any distrust could shadow her love for such a one at such a time. She
hated herself, held the thought a sin of her own commission, and sped
onward until she stood upon the northern side of the byre in a shadow cast
from it by the sun. The place was padlocked, and at that sight Joan's
spirits, though they rose in one direction, yet fell in another. One fear
vanished, a second loomed the larger; for the padlock, while it indicated
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account