_Undershell_ (_dolefully_). I--I had no such intention, I assure you. (_To himself._) I hope to goodness Lady Maisie won't come in before I can get rid of this girl. I seem fated to be misunderstood here! PART XXIV THE HAPPY DISPATCH "Perhaps it was right to dissemble your love, but----" _In the Morning-room._ TIME--_About_ 1 P.M. _Undershell_ (_to himself alone_). I'm rather sorry that that Miss Spelwane couldn't stay. She's a trifle angular--but clever. It was distinctly sharp of her to see through that fellow Spurrell from the first, and lay such an ingenious little trap for him. And she has a great feeling for Literature--knows my verses by heart, I discovered, quite accidentally. All the same, I wish she hadn't intercepted those snowdrops. Now I shall have to go out and pick some more. (_Sounds outside in the entrance hall._) Too late--they've got back from church! _Mrs. Brooke-Chatteris_ (_entering with_ Lady RHODA, Sir RUPERT _and_ BEARPARK). Such a nice, plain, simple service--I'm positively _ravenous_! _Lady Rhoda._ Struck me some of those chubby choir-boys wanted smackin'. What a business it seems to get the servants properly into their pew--as bad as boxin' a string of hunters! As for _you_, Archie, the way you fidgeted durin' the sermon was downright disgraceful!... So _there_ you are, Mr. Blair; not been to church; but I forgot--p'raps you're a Dissenter, or somethin'? _Undershell_ (_annoyed_). Only, Lady Rhoda, in the sense that I have hitherto failed to discover any form of creed that commands my intellectual assent. _Lady Rhoda_ (_unimpressed_). I expect you haven't tried. Are you a--what d'ye call it?--a Lacedemoniac? _Undershell_ (_with lofty tolerance_). I _presume_ you mean a "Laodicean." No, I should rather describe myself as a Deist. _Archie_ (_in a surly undertone_). What's a _Deast_ when he's at home? If he'd said a _Beast_, now! (_Aloud, as_ PILLINER _enters with_ Captain THICKNESSE.) Hullo, why, here's Thicknesse! So you _haven't_ gone, after all, then? _Captain Thicknesse._ What an observant young beggar you are, Bearpark! Nothin' escapes you. No, I haven't. (_To_ Sir RUPERT, _rather sheepishly_.) Fact, is, sir, I--I somehow just missed the train, and--and--thought I might as well come back, instead of waitin' about, don't you know. _Sir Rupert_ (_heartily_). Why, of course, my dear boy, of course! Never have forgiven you if you _hadn't_. Great nuisance for _you_, though. Hope you blew the fool of a man up; he _ought_ to have been round in plenty of time. _Captain Thicknesse._ Not the groom's fault, sir. I kept him waitin' a bit, and--and we had to stop to shift the seat and that, and so---- _Undershell_ (_to himself_). Great blundering booby! Can't he see nobody wants him _here_? As if he hadn't bored poor Lady Maisie enough at breakfast! Ah, well, I must come to her rescue once more, I suppose!