Humorous stories; Washington (State) -- Fiction; Western stories
This seemed reasonable. I didn't know either. It was an entirely new
idee, come from nowhere. This was the very first moment I had supposed
there could be such an idee. But such is Ma Pettengill. I thought to
inquire as to the origin of this novelty; perhaps to have it more fully
set forth. But I had not to. Already I saw unrelenting continuance in the
woman's quickened eye. There would be, in fact, no stopping her now. So I
might as well leave a one-line space right here to avoid using the double
and single quotation marks, which are a nuisance to all concerned. I will
merely say that Ma Pettengill spoke in part as follows, and at no time
during the interview said modestly that she would prefer not to have her
name mentioned.
Mind you, I don't say war's a good thing, even for them that come out of
it. Of course you can read stories about how good it is in improving the
character. I've read pretty ones in these here sentimental magazines
that get close to the great heart of the people once a month; stories
about how the town tough boy, that robs his gray-haired mother of her
wash money to play pool with, goes into war's purifying flames and comes
out a man, having rescued Marshal Fotch from a shell hole under fire and
got the thanks of the French nation and his home-town paper. Now he don't
hang round the pool parlour any more, running down fifteen balls from the
break, but shuns his low companions, never touches a cue again, marries
the mayor's daughter and becomes the regular Democratic candidate for
county recorder.
These stories may be true. I don't know. Only these same magazines print
stories that have a brave fireman in the picture carrying a fainted girl
down his ladder through the flames, and if you believed them you'd also
believe they had to set a tenement house on fire every time a fireman
wants to get married. And that don't stand to reason. Mebbe the other
stories don't either.
But what about the other side of these same stories? What about the
village good boy that goes through war's purifying flame and comes back
home to be the town tough? Ain't it time someone showed up the moral
ravages war commits on our best young men?
Me? I just had a talk lately with a widowed mother down to Red Gap and
what this beastly war has done to her oldest boy--well, if she could of
looked ahead she would of let the world go right on being unsafe even for
Republicans. She poured her heart out to me. She is Mrs. Arline Plunkett,
one of the sweetest, gentlest mothers that ever guarded a son from every
evil influence. And then to see it all go whoosh! The son's name was
Shelley Plunkett, or it was until he went out into the world to make a
name for himself. He is now largely known as Bugs Plunkett. I leave it
to you if a nice mother would relish having her boy make that name for
himself. And after all the pains she'd took with his moral development
from the cradle up--till he run away from home on account of his curls!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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