"Should I not then be rebellious against the Hand that raised it?" replied Mabel. "But, for my sake and your own, command your feelings. I dare not think, yet, and you would force me to do so. Why this has been suffered I must not ask now, for my faith may be too small for argument, while grief has almost robbed me of my senses. But I can see that you may have been made the unwilling cause, possibly that you may _think_. Do not forget the merit of suffering, for, if it chastens, it often purifies the heart; and do not let poor Amy's health and hopes in life be offered up for nothing, for there is a nobler self within you, which sorrow for our loss may call forth--shake off all that sullies your character--all its littleness or frivolity--and be yourself. Devote your life to some higher purpose, and to nobler aims--go forth to the world again, a blessing to those around you--and then," said she, sinking her voice as her eye lost its brilliant fire, "and then Amy, on her sick bed, will feel that her loss has been your advantage." Clair almost held his breath while she spoke, and then exclaimed, with a soldier's energy, as his eye seemed to have caught the fire which had died in hers, "I will, I will! You have doubly forgiven, for you have bestowed thoughts which inspire me with hope. You," said he, as he respectfully raised her hand to his lips, "you have more than forgiven, and I bless you from my very soul." Mabel gently withdrew her hand, and, excusing herself from staying longer, left him to indulge the new reflections which her words had awakened. CHAPTER XII. In the service of mankind to be A guardian god below; still to employ The mind's brave ardour in heroic arms, Such as may raise us o'er the grovelling herd And make us shine for ever--that is life. THOMPSON. It was with increasing uneasiness, that Mabel perceived the effects of their common grief on the weakened constitution of her mother. Mrs. Lesly, at first, insisted on being constantly with her sick child, but day by day her cheek became more pale, and her low hollow cough more frequent, until she could scarcely reach Amy's room without fatigue, and, instead of being able to nurse her, required, herself, a further exertion of Mabel's ever watchful care. Grateful indeed did the latter feel for the strong health, and stronger nerves, which enabled her to maintain the watching and waiting required of her--while the consciousness of being loved taught her that each personal service rose in value because she rendered it. Lucy still remained with them; she had insisted on her services being received; and, though the idle girl was rather giving trouble than making herself useful, Mabel did not refuse her offer to continue with her, hoping that the wish to serve might be the seed of better feelings and stronger self-denial.