Mad: A Story of Dust and AshesFenn, George Manville
General
Mad: A Story of Dust and Ashes
Fenn, George Manville
Fiction
"You see, though," continued Miss Tollicks, who seemed to have made up
her mind to thoroughly enjoy herself with a good talk; "you see, though,
there is one advantage--there's no stock required, and it is genteel;
but really, after all, it is so vexatious and pays so badly that I think
I shall give it up, and take to tobacco. I suppose it's a business that
pays well, and people do use it to such an extent that it's quite
wonderful. But let me see! Phillips--Flips--Flips--no, I never even
heard of the name; but, do you know, I shouldn't wonder if a doctor did
once live here; for there's a regular street-door bell that rings
down-stairs, and another that rings up in the second-floor front, just
as the night-bell used to at Doctor Masters's, where I once lived at,
as--ahem, ahem!--excuse my cough, pray," said Miss Tollicks, colouring;
"but there!" she said sharply the next moment, "where I lived as
lady's-maid, and I don't see why I should be ashamed of it."
"Hear, hear!" said old Matt, speaking for the first time.
"But can you tell who lived here before you?" said Septimus.
"O, yes; a dairy," replied Miss Tollicks; "but it was only here six
months, and my landlord told me the people didn't pay any rent, but went
off in the night so shabby, leaving nothing behind but a black-and-white
plaster cow, and a moss-basket with three chalk eggs, in the window; and
my landlord says that's why he looks so sharp after me, which isn't
nice, you know; but then you can't be surprised. Let me see, I think it
was a coffee-house before that."
"Perhaps," said Septimus, rising, "you will find that out for me when
your landlord calls. I don't think we will trouble him by writing; and
maybe you'll ask him how long it is since a Mr Phillips lived here, and
if he can tell you to where he removed."
"That I will," said Miss Tollicks pleasantly; "and if you would not mind
taking one of my cards, you might be able to recommend me to one or two
patrons; and you too, sir," she continued, handing one to Matt, which he
took with a comical amused expression, and carefully placed inside the
lining of his hat.
"Hadn't you better ask for the landlord's address, and write at once?"
growled Matt, as soon as they were outside the house.
"Perhaps it would be better," said Septimus, hesitating; "but no, we
won't trouble her again; and it would only hasten the matter a day or
two--possibly not at all. She has been very civil and obliging."
"Very," said Matt. "Good sort of woman, she seems; but what a tongue!
As soon as ever she had trapped us in that room, `Matt, my lad,' I said,
`the people in this world are divided into two classes--talkers and
listeners. You belong to the second class, so keep your place;' and I
did, sir, as you know. I never attempt to tackle a woman on her own
ground, sir, which is talking. I can talk, sir, leastwise I could when
I was well; but it's my humble opinion that that woman would have rapped
out three words to my one."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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