"You don't know, of course, sir. Why, when the patients are getting better." "I might have supposed that," said Septimus wearily. The old man chuckled, and looked brighter than he had looked for weeks. "Yes," he said, "it's when the patients are getting better, and there's plenty of port-wine and gin on the way. That's the time to find the nurse in a good humour; and she'll tell you anything, or do anything for you." Septimus Hardon looked weary and anxious, and fidgeted in his chair, as if he longed to change the conversation, but the garrulous old man kept on. "Tell you what, sir, these nurses seem to get their hearts hardened and crusted over; and then when you give them a little alcohol, as the teetotallers call it, the crust gets softened a bit, and things go better. I used to growl and go on terribly at first; but it's no use to swim against the stream. I used to grumble when I found that they drunk half my wine and watered my gin; but I'm used to that sort of thing now: for which is best--to drink all one's liquor, or keep friends with the nurse? Last's best; and they say I'm a dear patient old creature. I look it too, don't I?" said the old man with a grim smile. "But," said Septimus, "I must soon go; and I should like a word or two about my affairs first." "All right, sir; we'll come to that directly. I'm an invalid, and you must humour me. But this is the way of it. My nurse comes to me, like an old foxey vixen as she is, and--`Now, my dear, how are we?' she says. `Only middling, nurse,' I say. `I've brought you a glass of wine to cheer you up,' she says. `Don't care about it a bit,' I say; `don't feel wine-hungry.' `O,' she says, `but the doctor ordered it. Now, take it, like a good soul. You must want it.' `Not half so bad as some people do,' I say. `Toss it off, nurse; and just punch my pillow up a bit, it's got hard and hot.' `Bless my heart, no,' she says, `I couldn't think of such a thing!' so she sets the wine down, and puts my head a bit comfortable. `The wine's for you; so, now, take it directly; I couldn't touch it--I don't care for wine.'